


green eyes, you're the one i wanted to find

by infinite_always



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, But mostly fluff, Comfort/Angst, F/F, Fluff, M/M, Makoharu-Centric, Nanase Haruka & Tachibana Makoto & Tokyo, Pining, Romance, So much fluff it's not even funny, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Tokyo Life, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2019-10-05 08:53:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 33,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17321852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/infinite_always/pseuds/infinite_always
Summary: “I always felt like the universe was against me. But how could it be, when it still led me to you?”In this world, things were split down the middle. There are mismatched eyes – one iris your own, the other your partner’s. Incomplete Phrases mark the wrists of everybody. There is the irresistible pull that draws you to a certain someone. Soulmates were broken apart, each possessing a part of their other half. All with the hope of finding each other once again.It must be nice knowing that your soulmate is somewhere out there, searching everywhere for you. But Makoto wouldn’t know – he doesn’t have one.





	1. honey you are the sea / upon which i float

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DatHeetJoella](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DatHeetJoella/gifts), [Macbetha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Macbetha/gifts).



> The title was taken from Coldplay's "Green Eyes" and this [cover](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hy2e2D6OLE) has become a personal fav. <3
> 
> Welcome to my personal project I want to call “Writer Appreciation Forever”, ‘cause a day, month or even a year is not enough. I can’t help but gift this as a massive ‘thank you’ to two writers that I admire immensely, the ever so inspiring DatHeetJoella and Macbetha.
> 
> Joella, you wrote me an unexpected fic and it was everything and more. I just knew that I had to write another because Makoharu Soulmate AU automatically made me think of you. You have so many beautiful Makoharu fics out there and I wanted to give you one with a worthy enough word-count and hopefully enough fluff to boot.
> 
> Beth, I know this is unconventional and I hope I’m not too late, but I wish you the best and hope you take all the time you need. Please don’t rush at all. Sending strength to you and your family. We support you and will always be here for you. May all the love come your way. Please take care.
> 
> The reason I wanted to do this was because the stories you guys have told are the reason that I wanted to write in the first place. They always evoke such immense feelings in me, whether it is the notification of a new chapter or the rollercoaster of emotions I get while I’m reading. They always bring happiness to my day. Your writings have made being in the "Free!" fandom even more enjoyable. You guys made me fall in love with these characters over and over again with your masterful characterization; it's always a refreshing and exciting read. 
> 
> It made me want to put myself out there – to share a story of my own. I cannot say ‘thank you’ enough for all the hard work and dedication you guys give into your fics. You guys deserve all the kudos and appreciation. I hope that this story will bring even a sliver of light to your day, as you guys and your works always do for me. I am gone for any past, present or future ideas that you guys have. You guys as authors give us gifts all the time, so I want to hopefully do the same in exchange to show my ever-growing gratitude. 
> 
> Much love for both of you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

* * *

The summer sun is beaming down, brightening up the streets of Tokyo as soft clouds laze in the sky. It would have been a peaceful start to the weekend, filled with relaxation and serenity... if Tachibana Makoto had not been thrown out of bed in a frenzy when he glanced at the clock and noticed the time. He was running late, hastily throwing his coffee-stained apron into his bag and lacing up his shoes in a rush as he bolted out the door.

It’s the beginning of his semester break, so who can blame Makoto when he falls victim to the clutches of sleep. He worked hard this semester; he had been spending endless nights in the library, studying text after text until his vision became blurry behind his glasses and the words seemed to melt together. He had endless quiz sessions with Sousuke and Rin, which always resulted in the soulmates wanting to compete for anything and everything to see who would get the most right.

Makoto knew that sports education was going to be tough, but university can really isolate you from all you hold dear. Glad to have this second year out of the way, Makoto was looking forward to getting his mind off school and focusing on doing what he loves in his spare time. When he’s not busy working at the local swim club, where he is introducing kids to the joys of swimming and coaching them to be their best, he’s working as a barista at a hole in the wall cafe slash bakery, where he exchanges small talk and delicious delicacies to whoever decides to stop by.

Makoto is on his way to the cafe right now, constantly checking his phone as he sprints down the sidewalk. He notices multiple texts from Sousuke, asking what time will he get there and if he was even awake; he didn’t even have time to respond. He’s lucky that the cafe is not that far from his apartment, but he doesn’t want to let Natsuya down. He is too busy glancing at his phone’s screen that he doesn’t notice the pair right in front of him before he accidentally barrels into them. It’s like a game of red rover, as Makoto accidentally breaks the link between the two’s hands and he stumbles to keep himself steady.

“Oh my god, I am so so sorry!” Makoto splutters as he rights himself and acknowledges the couple in front of him. To his delight, he instantly recognizes two very familiar faces. “Oh, Asahi, Kisumi. It’s just you guys.”

“What do you mean, ‘It’s just you guys’?” Asahi teases, threading his right hand back with Kisumi’s left one once again. Makoto notices the faint silver glow that emanates from their clasped hands. The glow was subdued, barely noticeable if you weren’t looking. As if it was a secret between the two soulmates that shared it. “You should be grateful to have run into such understanding and amazing people. If we weren’t friends, I would have gotten ready to throw hands and defend my boyfriend’s honor after being so unceremoniously attacked.”

Always used to Asahi’s antics, Makoto shakes his head fondly. “You’re right. I should forever be in your debt, oh merciful one.” He laments sarcastically, as he shares a knowing look with Kisumi.

Kisumi giggles into his free hand as Asahi looks at his soulmate in disbelief, his eyes wide and mouth agape. “What, peach?  You don’t think I can take him?”

Kisumi places a reassuring hand on Asahi’s cheek as he holds his face gently. “No, of course you can, sweetie.” He’s places a quick peck on Asahi’s nose before continuing. “Besides, Makoto is too much of a gentle giant to even fight back anyways. Guaranteed victory.”

“Why you little...” Asahi is now trapping Kisumi in a back hug, their hands still intertwined as best they can as they playfully wrestle each other. Asahi is smothering Kisumi with reprimanding kisses while Kisumi laughs until his eyes transform into small crescents upon his face.

This causes Makoto to giggle as well, his eyes falling to their wrists and recalling the time when Asahi told him about Kisumi in the first place.

Asahi had come barging into the cafe, door rattling as it makes contact with the wall. “I’VE FOUND HIM! Somebody catch me – oh wait, too late. I have already fallen.” Asahi all but zoomed to the counter Makoto was standing behind where he was cleaning the blender he had just finished using.

“What are you talking about?” Ikuya had droned from his perch on the bar stool in front of the counter and stared at Asahi blankly. Makoto, Ikuya and Asahi had all met in Sano Middle School when they were in the same class and have been friends ever since. Along with Sousuke and Rin in the mix, their group continued to grow. Ikuya had been putting up with Asahi since they were babies though, since the Kirishimas and Shiinas had always been close. Ikuya may seem apathetic on the outside, but both Makoto and Asahi knew that his emotions ran deep.       

“Shut up and let me enjoy my moment, Ikuya!” Asahi retorted, gently punching Ikuya on his upper arm. “I found  _him_. My soulmate. He’s so gorgeous, his hair is a wonderful shade of peachy pink and his laugh just warms up my entire soul. He was on his way to basketball practice. It’s official, basketball is going to become my favorite sport. I have to join the team...” There was a lovestruck look in his eyes – eyes that were still different colors. Asahi’s left iris was still a deep purple, akin to the color of geraniums in the rain. On the other side, his right iris was a lighter shade of purple, similar to the color of newly bloomed violets in the spring.

“Then why haven’t your eyes changed?” Makoto questioned, as he leaned forward on the counter after setting the cleaning rag aside. “How did you know?”

Ikuya had glanced Makoto’s way, showcasing his left iris which was a reddish-brown, resembling the color of a polished violin and his right was a lighter brown, mirroring the color of olives. Makoto always wondered how difficult it must be for soulmates whose eyes were similar in hue. Although there was a slight variation, the contrast can still be seen; two different pieces on one being.

“Our Phrases matched and turned silver for a bit, that’s why! It faded back to black, but it was the most magical shit I’ve ever seen! My Phrase felt all warm and tingly and I have goosebumps just thinking about it.” Asahi proclaimed as he lifted his right hand. Stamped upon his wrist was the Phrase  ** _Eternally_** _._ Makoto always thought that Asahi kind of had it hard with the cards he had been dealt in this soulmate game. Ikuya’s Phrase was more elaborate, decorating his left wrist instead:  ** _You’re my saviour_** _._ It seemed like it was already complete, but of course there was always something more. Phrases were like that sometimes. Some were short, vague – confusing; others were long but were still part of something grander overall. Phrases hardly ever made sense until they found their second half.

Their world was a complex one; one where you have to go searching for the one that makes you stronger, _better_ , than you ever were on your own. The one that understands you like no one else can. The one that can bring you comfort in the toughest times. Your other half – your soulmate. Ever since the beginning of time, soulmates had been separated from one another with the endgame of reuniting. Each partner will carry half of their Phrase upon their wrist and will switch out their right iris color for their soulmate’s. With this, soulmates were bound to aimlessly wander, hoping to find their missing piece whenever fate will allow them.

“I felt it, Makoto. That’s how I knew.” Asahi continued, as he clutched his chest. “As soon as I saw him on campus, we locked eyes and I just felt something pull in my chest. It was like gravity was guiding me towards him and I didn’t want it to stop. Kisumi – that’s his name by the way – lifted his left hand and I saw that his Phrase said  ** _yours_** _._ And when we looked at each other, our eyes met and it was like looking in a mirror. It was so crazy. I only just met him, but I know I’m already a goner.”

**_Eternally yours._**  Makoto had pondered this Phrase. It was short and sweet, but held everything in its meaning. Makoto didn’t have a doubt that Asahi would be fully devoted to his new found love. It seemed that this Kisumi had passed all the tests. He had the eyes, the Phrase and the unconditional pull that drew Asahi to him. Smiling gently, he gives Asahi an encouraging pat on the head. “I’m happy for you, Asahi. You deserve it.”

Asahi had preened and glanced at his wrist adoringly. “Thanks, Mako. I’ll wait ‘til he’s ready for the Affirmation. For now, I just want to be with him.”

Everyone knows of the Affirmation. It can happen when they first meet or further into the soulmates’ relationship together. The Affirmation is the spiritual bonding that only true soulmates go through when they want to be fully devoted to each other. For an Affirmation to take place, the two partners will face each other and interlock their Phrase-marked hands and look into each other’s eyes. With three simple words,  _I found you_ , their irises will switch back to their original place. Then their Phrases will gloss over in permanent silver, like it initially had when the soulmates first met, as opposed to the ink black that Phrases usually are when someone is not Affirmed. Whenever Affirmed soulmates are near each other, that silver glow will always brighten, pulsing gently in sync with their hearts.

They’ve been together since freshman year. Asahi was no longer as moonstruck as he was back then, but he still looks at Kisumi with all the admiration in the world. Making his way around the dueling couple in front of him, Makoto shouts to be heard over the noise. “I’m running late now guys, but I’ll see you later?”

Asahi stills as he looks back at Makoto, Kisumi still being held in his (loving) headlock. Both sets of eyes, now in their original place after their Affirmation, stare at him widely. “Yeah, for sure. It’s not that busy. Everyone was there when we left anyways.”

“Okay, thanks guys. Try not to injure Kisumi!” Makoto calls over his shoulder as he continues his trek towards Marron’s front doors.

“He would never! He loves me too much!”

“You’re lucky that I do.”

* * *

 “I’m sorry I’m late!” Makoto cries out as he runs to the counter and swiftly slides in through the little counter door. He is now in the cafe’s back room, setting his bag down and tying on his apron as Sousuke comes in and leans against the door frame, crossing his arms.

“You know, when I texted you and didn’t get a response, I assumed that you would be coming in like an hour late, maybe two... not five minutes.” A tiny smirk graces Sousuke’s features.

Makoto looks up from where he’s taking in deep breaths from his impromptu jog. “Late is late.” He defends sheepishly.

“Mako, you didn’t have to sweat over something like this. Natsuya loves you.” Sousuke starts towards Makoto, ruffling a teasing hand through Makoto’s hair. “You really are too pure sometimes.”

Makoto bats his hand away, trying to fix his flyaway strands. He playfully shoves Sousuke as he makes his way past him. “I know, Sou, I know.”

They both make their way to the front now, eyeing the occupants of the cafe at the moment. In Makoto’s rush to get into uniform, he didn’t notice that the cafe was still remotely empty, except for its usual customers. Since Marron was owned by Ikuya’s older brother, Natsuya, and Asahi’s older sister, Akane, this place has become a regular hangout spot for Makoto and his group. It has a warm feeling to it, the area surrounded in muted browns, with tables lining up the perimeter and center space. It has a multitude of windows taking up the walls, letting in natural light. There’s a faint smell of fresh bread and sweet sugar in the air, the display case near the counter filled with all kinds of treats, from croissants to cupcakes and everything in between. It’s a sanctuary away from the bustle of city life. He takes a look around at his friends, all sitting together at their usual window table, deep in conversation. There are two pairings at the table right now, both sets of Affirmed soulmates sitting beside each other.

Makoto gets an enthusiastic wave and  _Mako-chan!_ from Nagisa, in which he returns, before Nagisa goes back to speaking with Rei. While his Sano group of friends all continued on to different high schools, Makoto had moved to Iwatobi for his high school life. That’s where he met Nagisa and Rei. Makoto had noticed the two when he was at Iwatobi Swim Club Returns the summer before his second year when he wanted to check out his new local pool.

He found it amusing when he saw them off to the corner of the pool by themselves. This small sunshine-haired boy holding hands with a midnight blue-haired boy much taller than him as he tried to move his long limbs in an attempt to swim. Makoto recognized the perfect form of backstroke (his own specialty) and the practiced form of breaststroke, but all ended up pulling the boy underwater. When the taller boy screamed out in frustration after his third time sinking to the bottom of the pool from struggling with freestyle, Makoto had made his way over.

“Maybe you don’t have to think about it too much,” Makoto had offered, sitting cross-legged poolside as the pair stared at him from the water. “Swimming is more about feeling, anyways. How about one more go?” He smiled gently. “Have you tried the butterfly stroke? I am friends with some of the best butterfly swimmers in the world if you wanted to give it a shot.”

Miraculously, the taller boy’s flailing limbs turned into graceful sweeps of his arms as he cut through the water. For a beginner, Makoto was thoroughly impressed. When he made it back to Makoto and the other boy, the smaller boy had jumped up and wrapped his tiny form around the other, planting proud kisses all over his face. “Rei-chan you did it! You were so beautiful!” Every word was punctuated by another small peck. Rei was supporting his boyfriend’s (Makoto could easily tell by then) weight underneath his legs as the small boy outstretched one hand to Makoto. “Welcome to Iwatobi’s Swim Club. I’m Hazuki Nagisa, but you can call me Nagisa.”

Makoto had shook Nagisa’s hand and smiled warmly in return. “Tachibana Makoto.”

When Nagisa was set down by Rei back into the water, he looked at Makoto curiously. “Have you ever been here before?”

Makoto scratched his cheek as he shook his head. “No, I actually just moved to Iwatobi.”

Nagisa studied him even harder, looking lost in thought. “Huh, I thought maybe I recognized you from somewhere. You remind me of someone.” He tilted his head in confusion. “Someone I remember meeting in this very club a long time ago. Your eyes look familiar...”

Rei looked horrified at Nagisa’s forwardness with someone that they just met, but Makoto didn’t mind. And that’s how Nagisa and Rei had come into his life. The swim club became their regular place to swim together since their school didn’t have enough members to make an official team. Makoto was surprised to see that the couple had silver Phrases already adorning their wrists.  It turned out that they had done the Affirmation prior to their first year of high school, having met while literally running into each other. Makoto remembers the story well. Nagisa had told him that he was sitting on a bench while munching on his favorite Iwatobi Cream Bread, when he suddenly stood up and was knocked down to his knees by some unknown force.

When Nagisa had looked up to see the cause of his fall, he looked up and saw eyes that were similar to his own – one that was magenta as cranberry jam and one purple as a plum. Makoto couldn’t help but laugh at Nagisa’s constant thoughts of food. It was when the stranger reached out to Nagisa, that they both noticed the foreign shimmering glow coming from their wrists. Nagisa’s had looked down at the Phrase that was imprinted on his right wrist, but also into his mind:  ** _You’re always_** , and glanced to the stranger’s wrist with the Phrase  ** _beautiful to me._** _**You’re always beautiful to me.**_

It was as he was pulled to his feet and the stranger with the adorable red glasses murmured “ _So beautiful”_ , that Nagisa knew this was it, if the fluttering in his stomach and warmth in his chest had something to say about it. It became the Phrase that Rei would say to Nagisa whenever he had doubts about anything – his academic abilities, his eating habits, all the things that Nagisa felt insecure about. And Nagisa always told Rei the same as if it was the simplest thing in the world. It was  _their_  Phrase and it never ceased to bring a smile to both their faces.

Sitting across from them was Ikuya and Hiyori. Ikuya gives a curt nod to Makoto, acknowledging his presence, before he leans into Hiyori who tucks a strand of hair away before whispering something into his ear. When Asahi had met Kisumi, it wasn’t long before Ikuya met Hiyori. While Asahi and Kisumi currently study at Hidaka University, the rest of the group studies at Shimogami University. Ikuya, Rin and Sousuke are all on the professional swimming track and Shimogami’s renowned athletic program offered it to them.

Ikuya had been known to push himself too far when it comes to his swimming career and almost drowned during one of their very first swim practices. Ikuya remembered how it felt to have his lungs feel like they were about to give out, fighting to not let the water in. It wasn’t until Hiyori dived in and rescued Ikuya that he had awoken to the sight of very concerned – and familiar- eyes staring down at him. **_You’re my saviour_** _._ Ikuya had interlinked his hand with Hiyori’s by then, glancing down at the other boy’s Phrase:  ** _You’re my prince_** _. **You’re my prince. You’re my saviour.** _Later that day that Hiyori admitted to noticing Ikuya at Marron through the window and feeling the pull when he was walking by. He thought he had missed his chance, but was elated to see that the gorgeous boy from the cafe was on the swimming team with him and knew that he had to meet him. Although the circumstances weren’t the best, it brought them together in the end.

“Why would I be your prince?” Ikuya had wondered when they were with with their group of friends, him sitting on his boyfriend’s lap, Hiyori now fully integrated into their daily lives.

Hiyori squinted his eyes bashfully, and raked a hand through his hair. “Have I mentioned that I love  _The Little Mermaid_?”

Ikuya had nuzzled close to Hiyori then, resting their foreheads together. “I wouldn’t let you turn into sea foam, though.”

Hiyori turned his head and placed a sweet kiss on Ikuya’s cheek. “I would hope not.”

Makoto is brought out of his reverie when a warm hand clasps his shoulder. “Five whole minutes, huh? Very tardy, Mr. Tachibana.”

“I promise to come in fifteen minutes earlier tomorrow!” Makoto protests, turning to find Natsuya’s warm eyes, the identical shade to Ikuya’s, looking at him with a small smile on his face.

Natsuya shakes his head.“Makoto, how many times do I have to tell you that you don’t have to panic over something as small as this?” He squeezes Makoto’s shoulder gently. “You worked hard, kid. You need the sleep. You can afford to stay in bed a little while longer.”

“You would know everything about being in love with sleep, wouldn’t you?” A voice chimes in. Makoto turns his head and notices that Nao is currently seated at one of the stools, tapping away at his laptop.

Natsuya saunters over to Nao, crosses his arms and leans over the counter to get in his boyfriend’s view. “I am way more in love with you, darling.” Natsuya leans even further, puckering his lips for a kiss, only for Nao’s right hand to stop him midway.  ** _The moon_** , gleaming in silver, is staring back at him.

“Sure you are, you idiot.” There’s no malice in his voice – there never is. There’s only the wicked glint to his piercing peridot colored eyes. Natsuya is relentless though, pressing his lips to Nao’s palm anyways. He then takes Nao’s outstretched hand into his, like the gentleman he is, and leaves a kiss on the knuckles, too.  ** _to my sun_**  is what is inked upon his left wrist, perfectly complementing his soulmate’s.  ** _The moon to my sun._**

As opposed to his brother, Makoto can only imagine how drastically different Natsuya looked having a bright green iris in place of the mahogany one he has now. Makoto met Natsuya and Nao along with Ikuya in middle school, when they were the captain and manager duo of the swim team they joined. Ikuya had told him that Natsuya and Nao had long before Affirmed their soulbond and were too mushy for him to handle. Makoto can’t think of two other opposites that go so well together. Nao, with his calm aura to coincide with Natsuya’s unpredictable energy. They are the unofficial parents of this family they built here in Tokyo and no one can tell them otherwise. No one messes with their kids – not a single soul will leave unscathed.

“Wow, he really is a smooth talker, isn’t he?” Sousuke concedes, stepping up beside Makoto. They really must be a sight. Three tall, broad shouldered guys standing behind the counter all while waiting to make the daintiest of drinks. Whereas Makoto was still the gentle giant that Kisumi claimed him to be, with his droopy eyes and everlasting smile, Sousuke was on the other end of the spectrum. There are times when people would wonder if his intimidating frown and intense gaze were permanently etched on his face. But deep down, it seems that Makoto and Sousuke were cut from the same cloth. They have got the most selfless, crystal hearts and would do anything for those that they loved. Always the valiant heroes. Maybe that’s why they got along so well from the start. Despite the hard lines of his face, Sousuke has this soft look in his eyes as he looks at Natsuya and Nao. No doubt that he’s thinking about his own soulmate at the moment, Makoto thinks. There’s only one person who can match Sousuke’s ambition in life, if not more.

“Hey babe! Guess who just beat their personal best in the pool today?” Speak of the sharp-toothed devil. The front door swings open and in strides Rin, alerting everyone to his entrance. His voice is overflowing with confidence, but then again, when is it not?

Sousuke immediately perks up at the sight of his other half, as he always does whenever they are together. His gaze never leaves Rin as he makes his way over and hops up onto one of the empty stools opposite Sousuke. “I’m pretty sure that was me yesterday and will probably be me again tomorrow.”

“Shut up and pay up, you ass.” Rin’s raises his hands and winds his arms around Sousuke’s neck, pulling him closer. “You thought that I wasn’t gonna be able to do it today and I proved you wrong!”

“Hmm... It’s a shame though, that I wasn’t there to witness such a feat.” Sousuke’s left hand is now cradling Rin’s cheek, their noses brushing.  ** _for you to come back._**

“I thought I told you to shut u– .” The last words are cut off as Sousuke’s lips meets Rin’s, thoroughly doing the job. Rin threads his hands into Sousuke’s hair, doing his best to eliminate the space between them despite the counter in the way. 

“Hey, keep it safe for work over there! You  _are_  at work Sousuke!” Natsuya shouts. “There are kids around!”   

“Tsukushi isn’t even here, Aniki!”

“Wasn’t talking about Tsukushi!”

Makoto could indirectly feel the light  _thwap_  that Nao assumedly landed on the back of Natsuya’s head, if the loud  _Hey!_ was any indication. Always the peacekeeper between the two.

Whereas Ikuya had to deal with Natsuya and Nao, Makoto had to endure Sousuke and Rin. Sousuke was the first person Makoto ever saw when he went to Sano Elementary School. It was so shocking for Makoto to see mismatched eyes on someone that wasn’t his family. His left iris was a frigid turquoise, while his right was a scorching garnet. Sousuke was the first one to approach Makoto when he noticed him playing by himself in the sandbox. For that small act of kindness, Makoto was forever grateful. It wasn’t until they crossed paths with a certain maroon-haired boy that Sousuke stopped dead in his tracks.

They both just stood there, completely stunned. The pull was evident, drawing the two boys slowly towards each other, until they could truly look each other in the eyes. Fire meeting ice. Rin was the first to move though, as he extended his right hand, fist clenched, knuckles on display as the silver glow gently pulsed:  ** _I’ll be waiting_**. “Guess we’re soulmates, huh?”

Makoto will always remember the way Sousuke’s mouth turned up at the corners slightly as he extended his Phrase-marked hand as well, gently tapping the boy’s knuckles. “I guess we are.”

Granted at that age, there was no such thing as romance when it came to two young boys just starting out in school. But that didn’t mean that they were immune to the effects of their soulbond. As they grew older, their relationship grew with them. The Sano Swim Club became a second home to the three of them growing up, which always brought them such joy. Their competition as butterfly swimmers was always essential to whom they were, but they also had the underlying competition of who can love each other the most. It was ridiculous, but they would always try to one up each other.

Gone were the days when their friendly bets ended with victory cries and instead end in victory kisses. There were times when Sousuke would spend the whole day with Rin, just lounging together in Rin’s room because he was too sick to leave the house. Sousuke has always been Rin’s shoulder to cry on, which is a big job considering the amount of crying Rin tends to do. Sousuke admitted that it was one of his favorite things about Rin. It was his passion, the way that he  _felt so much_  that made Sousuke fall even more in love with him.

On the other side, Makoto knows how much of an effect Sousuke has on Rin. Rin would never admit it to anyone else out loud, but he will never tire of the way Sousuke is the only one that can make him feel like he’s the strongest person in the world, even when he’s at his weakest. Makoto can see that Rin loves that he can bring out the playful side of Sousuke, whether it be with his cheesy attempts at being a jokester (Sousuke actually  _does_ wear his pink rocket koala shirt souvenir from Australia that Rin gifted him), or when he convinces him to take the silliest couple pictures with him.

Makoto had laughed when he caught sight of Sousuke’s lock screen as it showed a picture of Rin squishing Sousuke’s face as he scrunches his nose while Rin is pressing a sweet kiss to his cheek. They both looked so happy; Makoto could feel the affection even through the screen. Sousuke had claimed that Rin would kill him if he didn’t set his wallpaper as so, but Makoto secretly knows Sousuke is lying and is just as big a sap as Rin. When Sousuke and Rin ventured off to Samezuka Academy and Makoto to Iwatobi, it was when their Phrase truly rang true.

Sousuke started to feel a slight pain in his right shoulder when he was halfway through their first year. He had been fine in elementary and middle school when he was practicing; always making sure that he would have his dream of swimming and being together with Rin in sight. But at Samezuka, every time he was in the water, the pain became more noticeable when he would reach the end of the lane and clutch his shoulder in slight anguish. It caused Rin to swim over in concern, as he helped his boyfriend to the locker room with his right arm slung over his shoulders. He had never seen Sousuke like this and it was like his own shoulder was in pain. How could he not feel that way, when they were connected in every aspect of their lives?

When Rin advised Sousuke to get checked, he came back with the news that he should put swimming on hold for a bit and regain his strength before it got any worse. The thought of Sousuke losing some time in the water was unbearable at the time. They were both aiming for the global stage and wanted to be with each other every step of the way.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Rin had sobbed into Sousuke’s chest when they were in the privacy of their dorm, clutching onto his team jacket as he hid his tears, his hair creating a curtain around his face. “ _Why?_ ”

Rin felt his face being tilted up when warm, strong hands cupped his cheeks. When he looked up, Sousuke was oddly calm, despite the anger Rin felt boiling under his skin. His voice was gentle as he rubbed soothing circles upon Rin’s cheekbones. “Because I knew you would cry.”

It was when they were lying together on Rin’s bottom bunk, with Rin lying half on top of Sousuke, their Phrase-marked hands linked that he turned his head and placed a reassuring kiss on the underside of Sousuke’s jaw. “I know it will be hard to stay away, baby, but I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

Sousuke shifted so that he can gaze into Rin’s eyes. Even though they knew that they were each other’s one and only, they haven’t completed the Affirmation yet. Their red and teal gazes locked, Rin’s shiny with new unshed tears. Sousuke would never get over the fact that Rin had a literal part of him and wanted to keep it that way for a little while longer. Sousuke’s hand moved from where it was carded in Rin’s hair to hold his face instead. “I know, but I can’t help that you’re gonna be so far out of my reach by the time this break is over.”

Rin will always be the only one Sousuke’s shows his vulnerable side to and Rin never fails to be there for him every time. Rin had sat up then, swinging his leg over so that he was straddling Sousuke’s waist. He had framed Sousuke’s face with both hands, looking intently into his eyes. “I’ll never be out of your reach. You have me – all of me. It doesn’t matter how long it takes. I’ll be waiting.”

He then took Sousuke’s left hand into his right one. “I didn’t know what this particular Phrase would exactly mean to us when we met the first time, but I understand it now.” He brings Sousuke’s hand to his face as he presses a kiss to the center of his palm, and then holds it to his cheek. The tears were fully flowing again, because they always did when it concerned the love he has for the boy underneath him. “I’ll be waiting for you to come back. I always will.”

Sousuke felt like he was floating as his heart soared in his chest. He followed Rin’s lead as he sat up too, bringing their foreheads together. “I would wait forever and a day for you.” He’s grabbed Rin’s other hand and held it between their chests, between their hearts. “If you left and stayed somewhere across the world for years and never came back, I would still be waiting for you.” He leaned forward to close the distance between them. “I love you so, so much."  ** _I'll be waiting for you to come back._**

So Sousuke took the time off swimming during his second year. He still went to every practice though, every competition. He wanted to continue to study everyone’s technique and gave pointers to his teammates along the way. But most of all, he wanted to support Rin in any way that he could. Needless to say that Sousuke did not give one flying fuck when he screamed the loudest for Rin during his swim heat and was the first out of his seat when Rin touched the wall. Rin would always climb out of the pool and seek out Sousuke the moment he was on solid ground, kissing his right fist and extending it in his soulmate’s direction. 

A year seemed like ages, but all was made up for with the regular rehabilitation exercises he’s been doing and the daily shoulder massages from Rin. Sousuke was becoming stronger, better – he could feel it at his core. Rin had a lot to do with that. When their third year was approaching and Sousuke was given the green light to ease back into swimming again, the first thing Rin did was drag him into the school’s pool for a race. Sousuke still didn’t want to push himself too hard, but he gave into Rin’s whims because he had missed feeling the water on his skin, the rush of a competition. Every time he broke the surface, it was like a new pinpoint of light that was reigniting that fighting fire inside of him that he had continued to extinguish when ice was taking place instead. When he made it to the end, Rin was waiting for him, breath leaving him in short pants. Sousuke didn’t hesitate when he pulled Rin towards him and crashed their lips together after he whispered the words that they both needed to hear. “I’m back.”

It was like the whole world caught fire then.  And that fire continued to burn when everyone reunited and all came to Tokyo together. Sousuke and Rin were an unstoppable team and there was nothing in their way now. They did the Affirmation right before they left, ready to show off how powerful they were together.

Makoto, who’s used to their displays of affection, leans forward on the counter and rests his head on his left palm as he gazes out the window, the sunlight gently hitting his face. He watches as the cars pass by and people continue to stroll, looking completely at ease. It really must be exciting. Waking up to a new day, never knowing if it is  _the day_  the one you’re meant to be with will come and sweep you off your feet. Soulmates are destined to find each other. It is written in the stars, Makoto believes. He is happy for his friends; he’s happy to see that they all have found their life partners and that he is lucky enough to be surrounded with such love.

There’s a glint to his left as he catches a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror that is positioned by the window. He straightens up and his hands fall in front of him, subconsciously entwining with each other. The familiar feeling of heartache makes itself known when he stares at eyes that he thought he would be used to by now. It’s easier some days, but it never truly goes away. It’s only when it’s Makoto and himself that he lets the facade crack, even if it’s just a little. He can’t help the inevitable sigh that escapes his lips when he’s reminded of who he is. His gaze then falls to his hands, as he hangs his head slightly.  _What_  he is.

Tachibana Makoto – a Partial.

Instead of having his left iris be the complete color of his own and the right his soulmates’, Makoto’s eyes are a blend of colors bleeding into each other. Both of his eyes have a rippling effect, with an emerald green circling his dark pupil and then flowering out into an equal ring of sapphire blue. Instead of having words upon one of his wrists with blanks that need to be filled by someone else, Makoto’s wrists were just... blank. He absentmindedly runs his hand along his left wrist, staring at the pure expanse of his tan skin.

Partials. They weren’t breaking news. Some people knew of them, some people don't. But they always did eventually. They were unique, a rarity – a once in a generation type of occurrence. Makoto has heard of them before, but he never expected to  _be_  one. Partials usually don’t show signs of the normal combination of soulmate-defining features. It has been seen in the past that only one Partial was born at a certain time. Because of this anomaly, the Partials from before had never found a partner. When they are the only one, they had no match – no missing piece. They just aimlessly wandered until their time had come. No one knows why a Partial is destined to be alone for the same reason that no one knows why soulmates exist – only the cosmic force of the universe knows. Rei had a theory that it was to maintain this sort of balance within the world, where everything comes with a price. But why were Makoto and all those before him the one paying it?

It was a cruel thing the universe had thrown at him. It was harsh growing up and standing out, no matter how much he wanted to hide away. Makoto knew when his parents told him that  _he was different –_ that  _he was one of a kind –_ that they felt guilty for something that wasn’t in their control. He didn’t blame them; he would never blame them. Makoto was no stranger to the looks of sympathy that he received when someone met him for the first time. He would see their eyes widen in shock before they put a pleasant smile on their face and treated him just like anyone else. This type of thing... it was just something that wasn’t talked about. No one would ever understand the feeling of being a Partial, of being that type of  _alone_ , unless they were one themselves. Makoto already knew that his fate was laid out for him and he didn’t need someone and their ignorance to destroy the slow acceptance that he has created for himself. 

Makoto knows love, though. He was never denied that; he gets it constantly from his family even miles away from home. He gets it here in Tokyo, too, with his other family, who never treat him as a charity case, but as a person instead. Even though all his friends are Affirmed, Makoto would never prevent them from showing their affection in front of him just because that is something he won’t have. They deserve to show their love for one another whenever they want and whose Makoto to deny that. He’s grateful; he’s glad to at least have this. But being  _this_  – being a Partial doesn’t stop Makoto from wondering:  _why?_

_Why_  was he chosen for this life?

_Why_  was he not worthy enough to be with someone else?

_Why_  was the universe against him?

Having unpaired eyes and incomplete Phrases were the true keys to unlocking the enigma that is one’s soulmate. But for him, this condition keeps him in a cage. He can reach through the bars and grasp at what he can, but he can’t escape. Makoto was never alone, but he will always treat loneliness as his closest friend. He can’t change what he is and he is too tired to try and hide it.  _The day_  is something that will never happen for Makoto and he’s learned to be fine with that.

At least, he tries his hardest to be.

“Oh! By the way, Mako,” Makoto is quick to paint his smile back on as he looks over to Natsuya, who now has his arms wrapped around Nao’s shoulders from behind as he rests his chin on Nao’s lilac hair. Nao doesn’t seem to mind as he continues to focus on the work on his screen. Natsuya’s normal clinginess is nothing compared to his drunken clinginess, though. “I hired a new guy who’s gonna be starting today. He should be coming in soon.”

“It will be nice for customers to see a new face, huh?” Rin says, his fingers now loosely tangled with Sousuke’s as he traces random patterns on the back of Rin’s hand. He points his free hand’s thumb in Sousuke’s direction. “They must be tired of seeing this guy’s scary-looking mug every time they walk in.” He gives his boyfriend a playful wink, as Sousuke leans over to nip Rin’s ear as punishment. “Don’t worry, I like your face.”

“I hope my face is not the only thing you  _like_.”

“Wouldn’t you know...”

“Anyways...” Makoto interjects, already knowing that they the two will be back to their previous endeavors before they briefly detached from each other. Makoto still has that lingering sense of fear of meeting new people in the back of his mind; always scared of making his initial impression. It’s a work in progress, but he’s trying his best. “I’m excited to meet him.”

“It’s funny actually, this guy reminded a bit of Sou when I interviewed him for the position,” Natsuya muses, nuzzling Nao even more. “But there was something about him that makes me think he’s going to fit in nicely here.”

As if on cue, the front door’s bell chimes, alerting the presence of a newcomer. Makoto lifts his gaze and is about to call out his customary  _Welcome_ , when he feels something foreign in his chest. His heartbeat speeds up and it’s like a tether has looped around it and is pulling him towards the front of the cafe. The sensation doesn’t last long though, as his heart suddenly slows and it’s as if the cord was suddenly cut off and he was just left to float. As if nothing had happened.  _What?_

There’s a young man making his way to where Makoto stands, his head dipped as he looks down at his phone. All Makoto can see is the ebony strands on top of the guy’s head and his gaze travels down the guy’s smaller figure. He almost looks a good head shorter than Makoto as he approaches and one word comes to Makoto’s mind:  _delicate._ Like something that needs to be cherished.  _What?_

“Haru! Welcome!” Natsuya greets, going up to  _Haru_ as Makoto watches the interaction between the two.

Haru lifts his head and it’s like Makoto’s heart stops all together. Haru hasn’t even acknowledged him yet, but Makoto is struck by how  _beautiful_ he is, even from a distance. He’s like a doll, a striking living contrast with his dark hair and porcelain skin.  _Delicate_. What he would give to be closer right in that moment.

“Kirishima-san, I look forward to working with you.” Makoto never expected a voice so rich and soothing to come from the boy and he has the desire to hear him speak more.

“Just Natsuya is fine.” Natsuya places a gentle hand on Haru’s shoulder as he sweeps his other arm in the direction of everyone else near the counter. “Okay, so this is Nao.” Nao pauses his typing and spins on his stool to give Haru a small wave, in which he returns. “And these two here are Sousuke and Rin.” More waves are exchanged and the anticipation Makoto has of Haru officially meeting him is an odd mixture.

Again, there’s his usual nervousness. A new person means a new pitying look he’ll have to endure. But there’s something else this time, something he has never felt before... excitement. He can deal with Haru’s first impression in whatever way he wants to show it. But Makoto has an indescribable urge to see his eyes. To see what colors they are and if Haru has already found his soulmate. Because maybe then...

_Oh, wait._

Makoto’s heart shatters all over again, but it feels even worse when hope was the one who tore it to bits instead of fate. He has accepted being a Partial; he has accepted that  _kind_  of love is something he will never have and it’s not meant to be. But... he has  _never_ felt this way before. 

Instinctively, Makoto shuts his eyes and runs a frustrated hand through his hair. As if closing his eyes would make all the horrible things go away. Out of sight, out of mind. For some reason he wants to run; go back to isolation where he belongs. Go back to being the pawn the universe needs him to be. He’s not ready to face Haru; he needs some time to get himself back together. He starts to make a beeline for the back room when Natsuya’s voice cuts through the void that Makoto has lost himself to, bringing him back to his reality. “And this is Makoto.”

In his haste to get away, Makoto immediately crashes into the stack of extra chairs that they keep behind the counter, sending him sprawling to the floor. He lands on his side as he hears a chorus of anxious  _Makotos!_   float through the air. From his spot on the floor, he shakes his head to clear it and he slowly opens his eyes to see many people hovering over him. Sousuke is in a crouch to his left and Natsuya is on his right. Rin is leaning over the counter, resting his weight on his palms as concern fills his eyes. There’s someone in front of him and he looks up, a worried looking Haru coming into view.

Makoto is ready for the shock to be written all over Haru’s face as soon as he notices his eyes, but he’s confused at what he sees instead. Looking at Haru, he’s met with mesmerizing eyes staring back at him. They are eyes that can make up the world; Haru’s left one a true embodiment of water and his right the land. The pieces of his heart still beat at the realization.

Blue and green. So similar, yet so different.

Although a curse for him, Makoto was always fond of the combination. What he also sees is something that no one else has ever looked at him with. A slight gasp leaves Haru’s lips and Makoto knows that he has seen his eyes by now, piecing together what he is. There is shock upon Haru’s face, but instead of it being accompanied with sympathy, it is accompanied with a look of... wonderment. With that one look, Makoto felt as if he knew all the secrets to the universe and would do anything to tell them to the other boy. He doesn’t know what to do with this, but he wants to grab onto this feeling and never let it go.

While the others are supporting Makoto’s back as he starts sitting up, Haru stretches his right hand towards Makoto. “Are you okay?”

Makoto can only stare awkwardly Haru’s hand, as if he already didn’t look like a complete fool. He notices that Haru’s long sleeve shirt covers his arms completely, all the way to his wrists. He can’t see Haru’s Phrase, but maybe that’s better. His heart can’t take any more reminders of all the chances it will never have. He smiles gently and takes Haru’s hand into his, letting himself be pulled up. “Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks.”

When he’s finally back on his two feet again, another quiet gasp leaves Haru’s lips and he looks down at their hands. They are still clasped, probably longer than necessary. Not that Makoto is complaining. Makoto leans down a bit, trying to meet Haru’s gaze. “And are  _you_  okay?”

That seems to break Haru out of his trance and he quickly lets go of Makoto’s hand. Makoto would be lying if he said that he wasn’t disappointed. “Yeah, yeah. I’m good.” Haru’s mismatched eyes are on him again, a shy smile on his face. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

Makoto looks over at Rin, a sad yet knowing look in his eyes. Makoto knows that Rin tries his hardest to be there for him when someone new comes into their lives. They never know what kind of people they’ll encounter. But Rin has never seen Makoto react like this – on a high one second only to come suddenly crashing down (literally and figuratively). He gives a grin that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’m glad you’re okay, Mako.” There’s something else that goes unsaid.  _We’re here for you. You’re going to be just fine._

He really hopes so. Makoto takes the chance to look at Haru again, his eyes slightly downcast. Haru looks back at him, the small smile still dancing across his lips.

Haru hasn’t met his soulmate yet. And Makoto doesn’t have one at all. 

Blue meets green and green meets blue. But that's all there is to it. The end. 

The universe really is a cruel thing. 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... And it begins. 
> 
> So I set out to do this project for the beginning of the new year because I knew that once I started I wouldn’t able to think about anything else. I find it difficult to write when I’m not on break because I know now how consuming writing is; I’m still not the best at finding that balance. I wanted to post this earlier, but I still did my best. 
> 
> Song Inspo:
> 
> [DAY6 - "I Need Somebody"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87a47NhL8VM)
> 
> This song was on repeat for me honestly, thinking about it from Mako’s POV.
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading and I hope you have a lovely day. <3


	2. because i came here with a load / and it feels so much lighter

* * *

Things have become more difficult for Makoto ever since Haru arrived two weeks ago. Every time he was even in the vicinity of the other boy, he would try to make his self as small as possible, trying to avoid all attention. He didn’t straight up ignore Haru. He always said his usual  _Hello_ when he arrived at the cafe, maybe a timid  _How are you?_ if he was feeling forward, but conversation never passed that. It wasn’t Haru’s fault though. How could it be? He can’t help but feel like it’s for the better.

“Makoto, you can’t avoid him forever.” Sousuke had reasoned as he plopped himself into a chair at Makoto’s small kitchen table. His apartment’s a decent space for a single person living by themselves, only containing the bare necessities. “He’s a pretty chill guy. You should still hang out with us, even when he's there.”

Avoiding the topic at hand, he peered over from his spot at the fridge, “Hmm, what’s that? You’re okay with green curry for dinner?”

“Mako, come on.” Sousuke got up and leaned beside the stove as he gripped the counter behind him. “Just think about it.” He nudged Makoto’s shin with his foot. “Everyone else misses seeing you around outside the cafe. If you got a problem, I will gladly have a talk with him.”

Sousuke's definition of talking can be quite scary if you're on the opposite end of it, but Makoto knew he meant well. He and Rin just had to rein him in sometimes. "Sousuke..."

"I said what I said." He squared his shoulders defiantly. "We're always gonna look out for you."

Makoto sighed. He missed seeing his other friends, too. The only people that he saw outside of work at the moment were Sousuke and Rin when they came over to his apartment. He was still working things out, though, trying to organize his mess of a mind. He closed the fridge and leaned against it. “No, no, that's not necessary. We’ll all hang out together soon. I promise.” He started walking towards his front door. “Come on, I’ll treat you to tonkatsu.”

Sousuke beamed. “Thank god. I don’t think I could’ve handled your cooking today. I have a headache.”

He was given an unamused glare. “I was going to microwave some leftover curry, Sou. No cooking required.”

“A microwave is still an appliance that I don’t quite trust you with. I was thinking, were you in need of a new fire extinguisher? I mean your birthday’s coming up –”

Sousuke still got his tonkatsu that night, but not before Makoto chased him out of the apartment and wrestled with him all the way to the restaurant. If only Sousuke knew; if only anyone knew. They probably just assumed that he was uncomfortable around Haru because being wary around new people is understandable for a Partial. Makoto hasn’t told anybody about these new feelings that have taken over him. It’s something that he needs to hide. He needs to protect himself; he can’t get personal.

Every day since, Makoto has tried to forget that feeling when he first saw Haru, although all he wants is keep it safely locked away in his heart. Makoto can’t help but feel that it wasn’t  _right_ to feel this. Haru wasn’t his soulmate; he’s meant for someone else. But that still didn’t stop this indescribable  _hurt_  from haunting him. He doesn’t even know where it comes from. Makoto just has to work on keeping himself within the bounds the universe has set for him; this will pass. He just needs some more time before he can call Haru a friend.

Its early morning, the rising sun painting clouds of orange and pink on top of the purple canvas. He enjoys this time of the day; just him wandering by himself under the expansive sky. It’s normal for him to head to Marron first thing in the morning whenever he feels like it. He opens the front doors using the spare key that Natsuya gave him when he first started working there, wanting to spend a couple hours in the cafe before his shift.

He plans to just lie on the couch in the back room for a bit, mess around on his phone and listen to music while waiting for everyone else to arrive. He hasn’t been able to hang out here by himself since school kept him busy, but now he’s caught up on sleep and he’s free to do as he wants. After he sets his things down, he decides to check the kitchen to see if Gou was back there making the day’s desserts and pastries.

Rin’s sister was a baking prodigy. Makoto had never met someone as talented as her when it comes to crafting in the kitchen. Akane hired her as soon as she came to Tokyo, having complete faith in her abilities. She was overjoyed to practice in a real kitchen with Akane while she is doing her studying in the pastry arts. She does the standard recipes that were passed down over the years during Marron’s humble beginnings, but she has been coming up with her own creations along the way.

Gou usually has the morning shift when her schedule allows it and the kitchen is her post for the rest of the day while the boys handle the front end of the cafe.  Just as he is about to greet her, she hears a joyful giggle emanate from the open door, along with the delicious aroma of baked goods, “Wow! That looks amazing!”

Makoto’s surprised. Since the cafe is not that big of a shop, Gou is usually alone first thing in the morning until her girlfriend comes in later in the day to help with the rest of the baking. Because  _As much as I love you, cutie, five AM just doesn’t look good on me._  He wonders how Gou managed to get her to come in at any time before the cafe opens at nine. He steps into the kitchen and his heart drops when he sees that Isuzu is not the one with Gou.

Haru stands beside Gou behind the stainless steel table, finishing the icing on a delicious looking cupcake. Gou is clapping her hands as she gently encourages Haru’s technique, the frosting made to look like a realistic, red rose on top. They both look up when they notice that he’s standing there.

“Hey Mako!” Gou says, coming over to greet him as she goes on her tiptoes to wrap her arms around his neck. He wraps his arms around her shoulders to hug her back, looking over at Haru as he sets the piping bag down. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you here this early. Oh! Did you know that Haru here can bake?”

“I... Um...” Makoto stutters as he releases Gou, looking into her wide eyes. He remembers the time when one was red and the other gold. “I did not.”

“Well now you do.” She giggles, ponytail swinging as she goes back to Haru’s side. Makoto can’t help but follow along. “We got to talking about my program and he wanted to see the master at work.”

“And you did not disappoint.” Haru says, picking up another cupcake to frost.

“It also worked out perfectly because Isuzu asked if she could have the day off to spend some time with Momo since he’s in Tokyo for a while. Akane wasn’t available today either, so we’re lucky that Haru was here to help me out.”

“I hope he comes to visit soon.” Makoto always had a soft spot for that kid. Rin and Sousuke had taken Momo and his soulmate, Ai, under their wings when they all were at Samezuka together. Who would have thought that Momo would be the link that led both girls to finding each other at one of the swim meets in support of their respective brothers; the universe works in mysterious ways.

“Yeah, I heard lots of stories about him from Isuzu. It would be nice to put a face to the name.” Haru says, pausing his icing for a bit. He then fixes his gaze on him, a kind look in his eyes. “Good morning, Makoto.”

“Uhhh, good morning.” Makoto rubs the back of his neck, once again transfixed by Haru’s eyes. Will they ever stop having this power over him? He really could get lost in them and never want to be found.  He can’t help but feel a bit jealous. Everyone seemed to warm up to Haru easily, as if he’s been with them forever. So far, all the facts that he got about Haru without asking the boy himself was through the gossip guru that was Kisumi.

Turns out when he was  _gathering information_  as he calls it, Kisumi found out that Haru also goes to Hidaka University. Kisumi had seen Haru around when he was walking around campus and even shares a couple of classes with him.

Asahi also provided a tidbit of information that got Makoto melting even more. Through Asahi, he learned that Haru is an out of this world swimmer. It was the day after Haru’s first when Asahi came face to face with him. Haru was headed out as Asahi was coming in, but that didn’t stop Asahi from pointing in the other’s direction in shock, as if he had seen an apparition. “Hey! You’re that kickass swimmer!”

Haru was surprised to say the least, but he indulged in Asahi’s friendly arm bump before he left, saying that he’ll see him around. “You should see him, Mako!” Asahi had said in awe as Makoto continued to wipe the counter. “It was like nothing I had ever seen before!” He leaned forward to rest his chin on his crossed arms. “He’s always there when I head to the pool. He usually has these dark goggles on when he’s leaving, but no doubt that was him. I always catch a glimpse of him swimming before practice starts and he’s a monster at freestyle. But he also reminds me of a dolphin? Like all fast and graceful and shit. So he’s like a monster dolphin! Dolphin monster?

“It’s weird though. He only swims right before the team comes in when the pool has its public hours. Hell, he’s good enough to be  _on_ the team. Maybe I can try to convince him to join, now that he works here.” That made Makoto think about his time at Iwatobi and how perfect it would have been if Haru had been there to make the dream team that him, Nagisa and Rei desired. If only they had met back then.

He watches as Gou and Haru laugh quietly together over something he can’t hear as he stands awkwardly on the sidelines. Natsuya was right; Haru is fitting in nicely here. And all Makoto is doing is pushing him away.

The vibration of a phone interrupts the gentle atmosphere, Gou reaching into her back pocket and unlocking the screen. “Hey, sweet.” She is balancing the phone between her ear and shoulder as she continues working on the cupcake in front of her. Something shifts, though, as she sets the bag down and holds the phone with her hand. Makoto catches a glimpse of the silver  ** _strength_**  across her left wrist. “Are you okay?”

She pauses again as she starts to clear up her stuff. “No, no, don’t worry. I’ll be right there.”

Gou sets the phone down as Makoto and Haru look at her with concern. “What’s wrong?”

“Momo's in the hospital right now. He hurt his ankle. They're not sure how much damage there is yet.” She heads towards her bag and pulls out a hoodie from it, shrugging it on. “Apparently he fell from a branch when he was climbing a tree. Zu said he thought he saw a stag beetle. Wanted a friend for Pyunsuke.” She shakes her head. “Sei wasn’t available right now, so she called me and asked if I could bring some stuff for Momo. They don’t know how long they’re gonna be there.”

Makoto gasps. “Do you want me to go with you?”

“No, no it’s fine. Momo’s tough. He’s just not used to this place yet and Isuzu is more shocked than he is. I just want to be there for her since Sei can’t.” She slings her bag over her shoulder. “I know I shouldn’t bail right now. But I am literally almost done for the morning prep before we open in an hour, all that’s left is to finish icing the last batch of cupcakes for the day...”

“Gou,” Makoto says, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay. You don’t need to explain yourself. Knowing you, you have prepped enough for the rest of the week.” Makoto looks at Haru shyly, silently asking for support. “I can help Haru with the rest, right?”

Haru looks at him hopefully, while Gou looks at him doubtfully. “Uhh, Makoto, I love you and all, but remember the last time I let you try to handle some of the baking in this kitchen?”

Makoto looks appalled. “Hey, dealing with a hot oven is  _very_  different from dealing with a piping bag!”

Gou’s serious demeanor breaks as she giggles again. She reaches up to place a peck on Makoto’s cheek. “I know, I’m just kidding. I trust you.” She starts heading for the door, calling back over her shoulder. “Thank you so much! You’re a lifesaver. I’ll be back as soon as I can. Please tell Nat if he asks later.”  ** _You’re my strength._**

Makoto waves her off before the realization hits him. This is the first time that he and Haru were going to be alone together. There was no one around to distract Haru to allow Makoto to slip away into the background. Right now, he’s front and center.

He slowly turns to face Haru, who’s resting his palms on the table, cupcake forgotten. He gives him a small smile. “Guess it’s just you and me.”

Makoto makes his way around the table, picking up Gou’s forgotten apron and putting it on. “So... What would you like me to do?” He eyes the last dozen chocolate cupcakes that are cooling, waiting to be covered in the rose icing pattern.

“From what I’ve heard, I should be nervous about you being in the kitchen, right?” Now that Makoto is up close, he can see that lighthearted manner in the other boy’s eyes.

“It was one time! The oven here is much more complex than the one I have in my apartment.”

“So you’re saying that there were no kitchen mishaps at home then?” The silence speaks for itself. “Well, like you said, dealing with icing is much tamer than dealing with the oven. So...” Haru picks up the other piping bag, stretching it out to him. “Just follow my lead.”

Makoto reaches out, about to take the bag from him, when he notices the black scrawl along Haru’s right wrist.  ** _It’s meaningless._** Makoto has never related to a Phrase more. Seeing it up close sends another familiar pain to his heart; he hopes it doesn’t show on his face. His hand slightly brushes Haru’s as he takes the piping bag, subtle tingles spreading from his fingers. “Thank you.”

“Okay,” Haru picks up the cupcake with his left hand, the bag being held in his right. “You first add a small base of icing in the middle.” He squeezes a little mound of red icing through the angled tip in the center until it forms a little point. He looks at Makoto patiently, waiting for him to catch up. Makoto follows suit until his own cupcake looks alike. “And to form the rest of the rose, you just keep adding these little arches of icing starting from the bottom and connecting it to the bottom on a different side. These become the petals.”

Makoto watches as Haru daintily continues the decoration, an icing rose building as he turns the cupcake, adds a new frosting petal and does the same on the next turn. It’s a soothing and relaxing process to watch. He’s too entranced by the movement of Haru’s hands that he doesn’t hear Haru calling out to him. He doesn’t even notice his own hands. “Umm, Makoto... Makoto!”

“What?!” Makoto looks down at his hands, where a half empty piping bag is clutched. They are now covered in the creamy red icing, the sugary mound drowning the cupcake as well. A small whine escapes him. “Aww, damn it.”

He hears a small laugh and looks over at Haru. He crosses his arms and gives him an amused look. “Well, at least there was no smoke this time.” Makoto’s eyes widen as Haru shrugs. “Gou and Sousuke like to talk.”

Makoto laughs exaggeratedly, sarcasm coloring the tone. “You’re right, maybe cupcake decorating isn’t for me.” He sets the ruined cupcake down, holding his hands out in front of him. “Maybe I should decorate something else...”

Haru catches on fast, slowly backing up. “You wouldn’t.”

There is no hesitation when Makoto runs over to Haru’s side, his long strides easily overpowering Haru’s attempt to get away. His arms wrap around the smaller boy, Haru’s back to his chest as he gently smears some of the icing over both of Haru’s cheeks playfully, their laughter filling up the empty air. “Now  _that_  is what I call a masterpiece. A literal definition of rosy cheeks.”

They continue to laugh together, lost in a different space. Makoto really likes this: the feeling of having Haru in his arms, smiles upon both their faces. This feeling of euphoria that crashes over him. But unfortunately, reality is a sadist. It’s like the bubble pops as Makoto suddenly comes back to himself. Noticing their proximity, with Haru looking directly into his eyes, he hastily backs away. He has no idea what came over him; Makoto apparently just has this Making Things Awkward agenda when it comes to Haru. “Oh my god, I don’t know what that was – I’m sorry. That was out of line; I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m just gonna go now...”

He turns to walk way when he feels a hand grab his wrist. “No! Wait!” Haru is holding him gently, but nothing would make Makoto want to truly leave. His voice is small as he looks at the floor. “It’s okay. I didn’t mind.” He gives a gentle squeeze, insistent. “Just please don’t avoid me again.”

Makoto’s heart breaks as he carefully closes the distance between them. “Haru.”

Haru looks up at him, sadness in his eyes instead of the joy that was there just moments ago. “I’m sorry if I have made you uncomfortable in any way, or if you just don’t like me, but I can try to fix it. Just tell me how. I’ve gotten to know everyone here by now. But its hard being around your friends and then you’re just never there.”

“Haru...” Makoto wants nothing more than to comfort him, to make up for all the doubt that he apparently caused. “You did  _nothing_  wrong. I’m the one who should be apologizing. It was never you.” Mindful of his icing covered hands, he tries to convey his apology as best he can while looking into his eyes. “I was just... Going through some things. But,” Another pleading look. “It’s getting better now. So, I’m sorry if I made you feel horrible about yourself.”

Makoto gives him a gentle smile, sighing softly. “Why don’t we start over?” He looks at his hands, which are not in the best condition for a handshake right now. He notices that his left pinky is mainly clean, so he holds it up in offering. “I’m Tachibana Makoto. It’s nice to meet you.”

It’s like a sliver of light made itself a home in Haru’s unpaired eyes, brightening up his entire face. He links his pinky with Makoto’s. It’s a beginning – a promise. “I’m Nanase Haruka. It’s nice to meet you, too.”

Makoto can’t help but smile fondly. They stand there for a bit, happy to progress in their newfound start. Makoto can do this; he has to do this. As long as he gets to be around Haru, that’s more than he can ask for.

For Haru, he can pretend.

Haru lets their hands fall, resting them on his hips instead. “And I could have gotten to meet you officially much earlier if  _someone_  hadn’t been spending their time hiding behind the tall plant in the cafe dining room as soon as I walked in.”

“Hey! Again, that was one time! And Sousuke said he couldn’t see me!”

“Was that the same day he told me you called yourself the ‘Camouflage King’?”

“I’m gonna kill him.”

* * *

After the Icing Incident, things seemed to go more smoothly that Makoto could have ever imagined. It was just so easy with Haru; he couldn’t quite understand. As if they were best friends in another life. They have started to become closer as the days continued on. The stool at the end of the bar became their shared spot when they are on their breaks, not quite wanting to leave while the other was still working. He had taken it upon himself to wait for Haru after his shift, too, wanting to spend as much time with the other boy as possible. On the days that Makoto had his job at the pool after Marron, Haru would walk him to the front door of the building, but he never went inside.

“Why don’t you come in for a bit?” Makoto had asked as he hiked his backpack up on his shoulder. “I’m sure the kids would love to see your swimming. I’m sure it would inspire them.” Of course,  _he_ also had never seen Haru’s swimming, but Asahi was very convincing. He also had a feeling that Haru’s just magically good at everything he does.

But Haru always did the same thing. A forlorn look would pass over his features, a sad smile pulling up the corners of his mouth. He shook his head. “Sorry, not today.” But before he left, he would hold out his left pinky in parting. “See you later?”

And Makoto would always reach out, hold on tight. He sighed softly. “See you later.”

They don’t know exactly when they picked up this habit after that day they made their first promise. Makoto had blushed the first time that Haru started it, as he held out his hand and looked at him expectantly. But maybe they both needed it – to remind themselves. To remind Haru that Makoto was there, that he wasn’t going anywhere. To remind Makoto that Haru was different; to remind him to keep up this front. Although, Makoto always had a harder time keeping up his end.

* * *

“Here, Haru.” Makoto’s holding out the other half of the blue ice pop. He smiles as Haru takes it in his hand.

“Haru-chan!” Nagisa protests from his spot on Rei’s back. Piggybacks are a must-have when it comes to dating Nagisa. “I thought you said you didn’t want anything. I feel bad now.” Nagisa was feeling generous today, offering to buy everyone some ice cream from the convenience store on their way to the park. It was a beautiful day and no one wanted so spend their day off hiding inside.

Before Haru can respond, Makoto cuts in. “It’s okay, Nagisa. I think Haru didn’t want to finish one by himself, so I thought that I would share mine.”

“Always so thoughtful, Makoto.” Rei takes another lick from the ice cream that Nagisa is feeding him as they continue down the sidewalk.

Nagisa coos. “Aww, Mako-chan is so sweet!”

Makoto is still looking ahead, watches as Nagisa challenges Rei to run faster. But he can feel Haru’s eyes on him, the warmth in his voice. “The sweetest.” 

* * *

They’re trailing behind Sousuke and Rin as the two are deciding where they should all go for dinner. Sousuke’s arm is around Rin’s shoulder, Rin’s hand stretched up to lace their fingers together.

“What _is_ that?” Haru’s coughing as he hands back the cup to Makoto, the straw having just left his lips.

Makoto frowns as he takes a sip. “A double hazelnut iced coffee?”

“That’s the last time I’m drinking one of your drinks.” Apparently for Haru ice pops are one thing, sugar in a cup is another. Makoto enjoys this, though; getting to know these things. Getting to know what makes up Haru one piece at a time.

“You just got to find the right one for you, Haru-chan.”

“Water is just fine, thanks.”

Makoto laughs. “The longer you hang out with me, you’ll come around.” He nods ahead. “Sousuke was just like you. Next thing you know, he’s asking me to buy him triple chocolate Frappuccinos.”  
  
Sousuke glares as he looks over at them, stopping him and Rin. “Hey! It was back when I was allowed to slack off on my eating habits. I couldn’t help it!”

“No one was forcing you to get one every other day!” Makoto playfully shoves Sousuke’s back, getting them to continue walking. “No need to be ashamed. It’s all in moderation.”

Rin chuckles as they continue walking before he’s the one that brings the group to a halt. “Mako! Look!” There’s an unamused look in his eyes as they slowly narrow. “It’s _him_.”

Makoto comes to stand on Sousuke’s other side and immediately melts on the spot when he sees the snow white cat that is staring up at them. “Hi again.” He crouches down as he stretches out his hand, the cat automatically coming forward and nuzzling against his palm. Everyone has called him their honorary cat lady, but who can resist such wonderful creatures made of fluff and joy?

Makoto can hear Sousuke shuffle behind him, before Rin’s voice stops him. “Wait! What happens if he scratches you? This is the same cat I got the last scratch from!”

He turns his head just as Sousuke kisses Rin’s cheek. “Baby, just because you and Steve... And every other cat we’ve encountered are not on the best terms, doesn’t mean that all cats are against humans. Same goes for this one.”

“Yeah, ‘cause apparently we’re not all cat whisperers like you and Makoto.” Rin glowers, still holding onto Sousuke’s forearm. Sousuke looks somewhat pleased with that statement.

Makoto continues to pet the cat’s soft fur on its back, admiring the way it feels against his fingers. Another gentle hand comes into view though, rubbing the cat’s head between its ears, causing the cat to softly purr. It’s too small to be Sousuke’s and its most definitely not Rin’s. Makoto looks over and sees that Haru is hunched beside him, a loving look in his eyes as he moves his hand back and forth.

Rin’s shrill voice pierces the air, exasperated. “Seriously? Even Haru? That’s it.” Rin takes a confident step forward. ”Come on... There’s nothing to be afraid of...” He goes to reach out his hand, but the cat instantly hisses, teeth bared.

Rin instinctively pulls back, repeatedly hitting Sousuke on the chest as he laughs out loud. Makoto looks over at Haru, who continues to pet the cat as if nothing happened. He looks up at him, a smile on his face. Haru and cats are a deadly combination; he can’t handle all the adorableness in this moment. He can’t help but grin in return. “Looks like you’re one of us now.”

* * *

“Haru! Over here!” Makoto shouts as he passes the ball Haru’s way. Haru is quick to react, getting open and catching the ball before he continues to dribble down the court. He swiftly dodges Asahi as he tries to knock the ball from his grasp, faking an attempt right and instead going left. He’s near the basket when Kisumi comes up in front of him, waving his arms up high as he tries to block Haru’s shot.

It’s too late, though, as Haru aims and the ball is soaring through the air, bypassing Kisumi’s hands and sinking right into the basket. It was a close game, them being tied up until this point, but the last basket was the winning shot. There are cheers from Makoto and groans from the soulmates as they come together for a defeated hug. Makoto is beaming as he runs up to Haru’s side. “That was amazing!”

Haru is breathing heavily as he takes a drink from the water bottle that he left on the side. He looks tired, but he looks happy nonetheless.

“Yeah, you’re great Haru.” Kisumi says, while Asahi is clinging to his back with his arms wrapped around his boyfriend’s shoulders. Kisumi is holding onto Asahi’s forearms, despite the intense and sweaty game they just had. Nothing could keep them apart.

Haru shakes his head. “Makoto was just as great.”

“Yeah, he was. But,” Kisumi starts rolling the basketball with his feet. “He unfortunately doesn’t go to our school. But hey! I’m on the basketball team and since you are so fantastic, I was thinking you should come joi –”  

“Oh, give it a rest, peach.” Asahi laughs, cuddling closer. “If you couldn’t get me to join back then, what makes you think Haru would now?”

“Hey, a boy’s gotta try!” Kisumi tries to playfully elbow his boyfriend, wanting to get out of his grasp, but Asahi just holds on tighter.

They continue to bicker as Makoto takes a drink from the water bottle Haru just handed him. He’s still drinking when Haru interrupts. “Yeah, sorry Kisumi. It’s gotta be me and Makoto or no one at all.” Haru gives Makoto an unexpected wink. “We’re pretty great together.”

_What the...?_

Makoto suddenly chokes on the water he was chugging; the front of his shirt getting soaked. He knows that Haru was just teasing, that it truly didn’t mean anything, but the impact was too effective. He continues to cough as Haru pats his back, voicing concern. Makoto has never been more thankful for his clumsiness.

* * *

“Is this yours?” Makoto looks over at Haru, the acoustic guitar held in both hands. This has become a regular occurrence. If they weren’t with the others, then they were at Haru’s apartment together. But a majority of the time they come to Makoto’s. He can’t say that he’ll ever tire of seeing Haru in his place.

He sets down the pile of laundry he finished folding. “No, it’s actually Asahi’s. He brought it last time he came over, but he left it here for me to practice with.”

“Practice?”

Makoto feels embarrassed, refolding the shirt on top of the pile to distract himself. “I thought it would be something fun to learn. He’s been teaching me bits of songs here and there for a while now. I wanted to get a feel of having one before I actually got one.”

He’s rummaging through his drawers, putting the last of the clothes away when he feels a light tap on his shoulder. He looks over and sees Haru holding the guitar in his direction, expression cheerful. One look into those captivating eyes and Makoto knows he has no choice. He sighs as he goes over to sit on the edge of the bed, propping the guitar up on his knees as Haru sits beside him.

“I’m still learning, so don’t laugh.”

Haru crosses his heart, making Makoto roll his eyes as he starts to strum the memorized chords. When Makoto first heard Asahi play it, he was instantly drawn to its melody. Asahi was still learning the lyrics to it, so Makoto didn’t fully understand the meaning of the song. Asahi promised to teach him the full thing, words and all, when he practiced enough and Makoto was happy to wait. But the music spoke for itself. He wordlessly starts to hum along, making his voice flow with the movement of his fingers.

When the song is over, Makoto shyly looks over at Haru. He has his eyes closed, as if he was trying to fully immerse himself. Wanting to make his hearing his most heightened sense in that moment. He slowly opens his eyes, meeting Makoto’s own.

“I think someone should start believing in themselves more.” Haru scoots closer, placing his hand on the one Makoto still has resting on the strings. “You’re so good!”

Makoto laughs nervously, scratching his cheek. “Asahi is way better at it. He’s the teacher.”

“Believe me.” Haru squeezes his hand reassuringly. “You’re perfect.”

Makoto has to remind himself that Haru is talking about his guitar playing skills. “Thanks.”

“Are there any lyrics to it?”

“Asahi didn’t say which song it was, so I don’t even know where to search it up.” Makoto sets the guitar down, laying it back in its case.

“Well, when you do learn the lyrics,” Haru looks at him encouragingly. “I would like an encore, please.”

Makoto smiles, a slight twinkle in his eyes. “You’ll have a front row seat.”

* * *

“Haru! You fucker!” Rin is standing up from where he was sitting between Sousuke’s legs, controller still clutched in his hand. Haru’s character is taking first place on the podium, with Rin coming in second and Makoto third. “That was a cheap shot! Hey! Don’t think I didn’t see what you did either Kisumi, stop laughing!”

They are all in Makoto’s apartment, trying out the new Mario Kart game he recently bought for his Switch. If there was one thing that Makoto had brought with him to Tokyo, it was his treasured gaming console. Rin and Sousuke immediately took up a space on the floor beside Makoto’s bed since it served as a pseudo-couch in the small living area, sitting parallel across from the television stand. Asahi sat beside them, closest to the balcony doors, while Kisumi clambers on top of the bed right behind him so he can rest his head on Asahi’s and wraps his arms around his shoulders. That left the rest of the bed on Kisumi’s right, where Haru and Makoto sit shoulder to shoulder, legs crossed in front of them.

They made unofficial teams, with Asahi and Kisumi on one, Makoto and Sousuke on another, and Haru and Rin going on their own. Makoto didn’t question where this competitive streak came from with Haru when it came to Rin ever since their get-togethers became regular, but he and Sousuke weren’t gonna step in. Rin had managed to secure his spot in first after the third race and Haru back in second. They had been back and forth up until this point, always switching between the two places. He and Sousuke had been doing a pretty good job securing third, but as soon as Sousuke handed Makoto the controller for the final race, he knew that Rin better watch out. He saw the determination in Haru’s eyes.

It was on the final lap with the finish line in sight, that Makoto saw Haru’s character tailgate Rin’s until the last moment and lets his last red shell fly. That’s all it took for Rin’s cart to spin out of control and for Haru and Makoto to finish the race in first and second. It didn’t help that Kisumi was trailing way behind and let the blue shell of death go a little while earlier, messing with Rin even more before Haru caught up and executed his final attack.

Rin is still growling at Haru until Sousuke tugs him into his lap before he can destroy any of Makoto’s things, bringing his back to his chest, nosing at his cheek. Rin immediately stops whatever rant he was about to embark on. Asahi and Kisumi were never really out to win in the first place, so Asahi just leans back, his head resting on Kisumi’s lap as he leans forward for an upside down kiss.

Makoto turns to Haru, raising his hand up for a high-five. “Looks like fate was on your side.”

Haru looks a tad smug, but he smiles as he brings his hand up to Makoto’s. What Makoto expects is his high-five to be returned. What he  _doesn’t_  expect is Haru lacing his hand with Makoto’s right afterwards, keeping them in mid-air as he looks sincerely into his eyes. His heart grows on the spot. “I’ll have to thank it one day.”

* * *

It was past the halfway point of their break when Makoto was shocked to hear that Haru’s birthday had already passed and he didn’t bother to celebrate it.

“What? You didn’t celebrate your birthday?” They’re sitting together at a booth in the arcade they’re at, a half finished pizza on the table, empty drink cups all forgotten. Everyone else was up and playing on the flashing machines that surround them, obnoxious music loudly playing and alarms wailing. Rin is having another round of Dance Dance Revolution with Kisumi, both of their soulmates keeping watch on anyone who might stare too long. Sousuke already had an embarrassing turn earlier (after Rin’s constant pleading) when they first got here, making Rin laugh as he tried to dance, if one can even call it that. Rin truly has him wrapped around his finger as Sousuke stepped off in shame.

“Your dancing skills are the reason I’m with you, you know?” Rin teases from his spot as Kisumi replaces Sousuke. “Such a sexy beast.” He leans over to smack a kiss against his cheek. 

Sousuke grumbles, but quickly turns his head to place two more quick kisses on Rin’s lips before the next game starts. Makoto feels sorry for whoever wants to take a glance Rin’s way. They’re lucky enough to keep their fingers if they’re caught by Sousuke.

Asahi’s filled with pride at the moment having beat Kisumi at the basketball game, while Kisumi had argued petulantly. “It’s rigged! This game does not define my skills on the court.”  

The pout is inevitable as he crosses his arms in defeat. Asahi reassures him by wrapping his arms around the other boy’s waist and presses a kiss to his temple. “Whatever you say.”

Nagisa is clinging to Rei’s back as he is caught up in a serious looking game of Whack-A-Mole. Only Rei would calculate the reflex time and perfect position to hold the hammer in order to achieve the highest score. Nagisa is happy to just cheer him on, goading the moles and telling them to  _Not mess with his Rei-chan!_  

Ikuya and Hiyori are attempting to play the racing game, but Ikuya has snatched the glasses off Hiyori’s face and is holding them behind his head and out of Hiyori’s reach. Hiyori leans over from his seat and settles on tickling Ikuya’s sides until he lowers his arms in surrender, giggling happily. He perches the glasses upon Hiyori’s nose and then loops his arms around the other boy’s neck to nuzzle their noses together, oblivious to all around them.

Natsuya and Nao have already left, but not before Makoto caught sight of them leaving the photobooth together. No doubt they wanted the privacy from the overcrowded space, but Makoto also knows that they wanted to have another strip of photos to add to their collection. Their fridge is a massive collage of everyone and their memories collected from their time together here in Tokyo. Makoto loves looking at it whenever he stops by. He wonders if Haru will have a place on the fridge eventually. He really hopes so.   

“It’s not really a big deal.” Haru looks bored as he takes another bite of his pizza. “It was back in June. My grandmother even said that when you turn twenty, you become an ordinary person anyways.”

“But still!” Makoto turns a bit more in the booth, trying to look Haru head on. “Birthdays are special. They were the day that you were born!”

“Thank you for clarifying what a birthday is.”

He shoves Haru slightly. “Hush, you know what I mean.” Despite his tall frame, he does his best to fit in the small side of the booth taking Haru’s right hand into both of his. “If anything, I think you’re pretty extraordinary. That’s definitely something to celebrate.”

He unknowingly runs his thumb gently over Haru’s wrist, along his Phrase, the words hanging in the air between them. He’s been doing better at not slipping up whenever he’s alone with Haru, but he has his moments. And this would be one of them. Before Makoto can pull away and mentally dig a hole for himself, Haru places his other hand on top of their other entwined ones. Makoto slowly meets Haru’s gaze, the fondness evident. He’s given a smile that does everything to his heart. “Thanks.”

It’s oddly intimate given the noise that they are surrounded in. But he wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Ready to head out?” They immediately let go of each other’s hands, Makoto snatching up the menu in an attempt to look casual. If anyone noticed that it was upside down, they don’t bring it up. Rin and Sousuke appear at the side of the table, hand in hand. “I think grandpa here is getting grumpy.”

“I’m not grumpy!”

“Anyways!” Rin looks over at Makoto. “You good?”

Every time he’s asked that question, there’s always so much more to it. He looks at Haru from the corner of his eye, his breath seizing in his chest. He does his best to ignore it. So he replies the only way he knows how. “I’m fine.” 

* * *

“I’m glad Momo is doing alright.” Makoto sighs as he leans on his balcony’s railing, the night sky looming overhead. He and Haru have just come back from Gou and Isuzu’s place where Momo had been staying. He’s been camping out in their guest room, but his ankle injury did nothing to disable his energy. It was nice seeing a friend from home. It reminded him of being in Iwatobi.

“Yeah,” Haru is sliding the door closed behind him, a blanket folded over his arm. He comes to stand beside him, casually draping the blanket over Makoto’s shoulders. Makoto clutches the blanket tighter as he feels warm from the inside out. This is what he has noticed about Haru over the time they spent together. He pays attention when no one thinks he is. It’s sometimes the smallest of actions that he does that truly speak more than his words. Like saving a special treat for Makoto at the cafe because of his uncontrollable sweet tooth or helping clean up his apartment when Makoto gets too lazy to do it by himself. And now things like this. The thought makes him smile to himself. “But his obsession with those stag beetles is really something else.”

“I hope he likes the books I got him.”

“And where exactly did you find such rare stag beetle books that he was looking everywhere for?”

“Don’t ask.”

Makoto’s used to coming out here, looking at the blanket of stars that surround him. Seeing the stars from here is a lot different than when he would look at them from Iwatobi. He misses the salt air that would rise with the wind, bringing calmness with its dance. It was a special place for him; another thing he used to do on his own. As much as he loved the rising sun, he loved the moon and stars just as much. He would spend the evenings looking at the water and then up at the dotted midnight sky.

He stills likes to believe that everything is written in the stars; that they all have a story to tell and a fate to follow. They have a whole galaxy of these tales. There are stories of gods that have been passed down and there are stories of mortals that have yet to been told. He knows his own stars by now, but he misses all of their company when they are drowned out by the city lights.

Makoto looks over to his left to see Haru standing there, the moonlight illuminating him softly. He’s shocked at how comforting it feels to have Haru here, enjoying what the cover of night has to offer. It’s serene, soothing. He’s been going to that railing above the sea ever since the start of high school, but he’s always felt like something was missing the entire time.

“This is nice.” Haru rubs his hands up and down his arms. “I can see why you like coming out here so much.”

“It’s nothing compared to what it looks like in Iwatobi.” Makoto says, coming closer to the other boy and draping the other side of the blanket over him. “Too many lights here.”

“Iwatobi?”

“Yeah,” Makoto grips the rail in front of him. “That’s where I came from before coming to Tokyo. I was only there for high school, though.” He glances over at Haru. “How about you? Where are you from?”

Haru looks downwards at the streets below. “Nowhere important.” He can feel Haru tense slightly. “We usually moved around a lot because of my dad’s job. All the places seemed to blur together. We never settled down long enough to get attached.” A shake of his head. “High school was one of those blurry places.”

Makoto can hear the unspoken words that somehow cut through the silence. It’s not his place to pry. If Haru wants to talk about it, then Makoto will gladly listen. But he’s knows it’s not the time. Instead, he points up at the sky, wanting to get Haru’s mind on something else. “Hey, I think that’s Ursa Major over there.”

Haru looks up, the mood altering back to the way it was before. He grins gently. “Have you ever heard of any other constellations? Other than all the common ones?” 

Makoto shakes his head. “Not really, no.”

“I remember taking an intro astronomy class freshman year, just for fun,” Haru explains as he looks up at Makoto. “Got me interested in what other constellations there were. What stories they represent.” Makoto feels as if his words were being echoed back to him. “Turns out there’s a whole ocean in the sky.” Haru laughs. “I love the real one, but a celestial one is just as amazing.”

Makoto huddles closer, intrigued. “Seriously?”

Haru nods. “Yeah, I’m not sure if we can pick them out right now, but apparently there’s a whole bunch of water creature constellations that stay close together.” Makoto follows Haru’s gaze, looking up anyway. “I remember that there was Cetus, also known as the Whale, and Delphinus, who’s also known as the Dolphin.” He looks lost in thought. “I think the well-known ones come between them though, like Pisces and Aquarius.”

A dolphin. That’s what Asahi had called Haru back then. He knows that Asahi was talking about Haru’s swimming, but he can see aspects of it outside of the water, too. The way that Haru’s clever like one, the fluidity of his movements, the playfulness in his demeanor when he’s feeling up for it – it’s all there.

Makoto grins, casually draping his arm around Haru’s shoulders. “That doesn’t seem right, though. That would make them both alone.” He shrugs. “I personally think that Cetus and Delphinus should be closer together. Inseparable, even.”

“Is that so?” Haru laughs, looking to the side and into Makoto’s eyes.

Makoto hums. “Yup. I think we should fix that someday.”

Being here with Haru really makes Makoto want to bring him to his beloved star-gazing spot. He wants Haru to see their natural light at its finest, with no distractions around. Something tells him that the empty spot beside him was meant to be filled anyways. In response, Haru just leans over and rests his head on Makoto’s shoulder. He naturally holds Haru tighter. “Yeah, someday.”

* * *

“Makoto, where are we going?” Haru is holding Makoto’s wrists from where his hands are currently covering the other boy’s eyes.

He’s awkwardly waddling behind Haru as he does his best to steer him in the right direction. “Don’t you trust me?”

“Depends.”

“So rude, Haru-chan.” He knows the  _–chan_ will rile Haru up more, but he can’t help himself. “Just a few more steps... and...  Now!” Makoto gently removes his hands, Haru still clinging to his wrists as he adjusts to the light again. He watches as Haru takes in the structure before them, understanding blossoming on his face.

He turns to face Makoto fully, a surprised look in his blue and green eyes. “We’re at the aquarium?”

“Ta-da! Welcome to the ocean in the city! It’s not the one of the stars, but we could make it work.” Makoto moves forward a bit, raising his arms in a grand flourish as he walks backwards towards the entrance. “I thought we could celebrate your birthday today.”

“Makoto...”

“Nope, we’re celebrating!” Shortening the distance between them, he takes Haru’s wrist, guiding him forward. “I thought we could enjoy the new exhibits together.”

Once their tickets are bought and they are standing in the front hall, Makoto looks at Haru eagerly. “Where to first?”

Haru looks confused. “I wouldn't even know where to start.”

“Umm...” Makoto stares, internally panicking. He just wanted to do something that he thought Haru would enjoy. “Damn, do you even want to be here? I should have asked if you even liked aquariums in the first place. But that would have ruined the surprise – Okay, I’m the worst planner. We could do something else if you want...”

By now, Haru has mastered the art of stopping Makoto’s ramblings. “Makoto, stop.” In a blur, Haru is reaching up and wrapping his arms around Makoto’s neck. Makoto is a statue, mind blanking for a bit before he slowly relaxes and puts his arms around Haru’s waist. Today’s gonna be full of firsts he guesses. He leans back slightly, making Haru’s feet lift off the ground. He can feel Haru’s smile against the side of his neck. Once he sets Haru down, he keeps his hands on Makoto’s shoulders. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me just yet. We haven’t even seen the fish! They have a dogfish here that I really want to see.”

“You think there are any mackerel displays?”

Makoto reaches out to boop Haru’s nose. “We are not having another incident like at the sushi restaurant.”

From their spot, Makoto notices a little girl walking past them towards the exit, holding hands with her mother. She has an eye of red and the other purple, both filled with pure curiosity. Kids have always been his weak spot as he gives her a small wave and bright smile. She beams as she tugs on her mother’s shirt. “Mommy! Mommy! That man with the weird eyes just waved at me!” She gives an enthusiastic wave in return as she leaves through the doors.

He’s reminded of the time he introduced himself to his class at the pool. They were also interested in his eyes, but it’s different than when someone older meets him for the first time. Children didn’t know any better. They are just excited to learn more about the world they live in and Makoto is more than happy to teach them.

“Okay, time to find that dogfish...” Makoto’s voice dies down as notices Haru, a sudden shift in the air. There’s a frown upon his face and Makoto feels the despair as if it was his own. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

It’s like Haru’s looking straight through him, his shoulders drooping, voice frail. “I’m just sorry, Makoto.”

An apology was the last thing Makoto expected to hear. “Hey, hey, what’s this?” He wants nothing more than to take Haru’s face into his hands, to comfort him – protect him. “What are you sorry for?”

Haru gestures haphazardly towards the doors the little girl just passed through. There’s a tinge of frustration now. “You don’t  _deserve_  that.”

This precious boy.

“Oh, Haru...” He reaches out with his left hand, not caring that he might be crossing the line he set for himself; it’s pretty fuzzy at this point. It has been for a while now. He brings his hand under Haru’s chin and tilts his head up to look at him, bringing Haru back, grounding him. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault.” His thumb traces idle circles upon the boy’s cheek. “It’s really nothing. I’m used to it.”

Haru shakes his head, as if trying to rid himself of the memory. “I don’t want you to be used to it. I just – don’t like hearing talk like that, especially about you.” He speaks with so much conviction; Makoto has no choice but to listen. “They’re not weird. They’re a part of you.” He doesn’t know where this fire is coming from, but as soon as their eyes lock, neither want to break away. “They’re beautiful.”

This wonderful, precious boy.

Makoto doesn’t hesitate to bring Haru into his chest, wanting to shelter him from the world. One hand cards through Haru’s hair, while the other gently holds his waist. Makoto has heard countless comments about his eyes before, some filled with praise for their uniqueness, others condolence for their symbolism. But all of those are washed away, only leaving room for the words that were spoken by the boy in his arms.

It was the first time the words truly meant something. It was the first time he didn’t feel like a spectacle. All he felt was something he never thought he would be allowed to experience – worth.  

He leans down, whispering so only Haru can hear. “Thank you.”

Makoto feels Haru wrap his arms around his waist, finally relaxing, caught up in their embrace. They stay there for a while, before Makoto reluctantly pulls away. Remember – pretend. He doesn’t miss the pout on Haru’s face as he stuffs his hands in his hoodie pocket. “So, dogfish?”

“I thought we agreed on finding the mackerel.”

“We'll come back to this conversation for dinner.”

* * *

It is an otherworldly feeling, walking through the dark exhibits, with the tanks’ light as the only illumination. The blues from the water cast glowing, ethereal patterns across their faces as they go from one glass window to the next. Some colorful fish dart by in a flash, their motions too fast to detect. Others are leisurely swimming, the graceful sweep of their fins propelling them forward.

There’s a gigantic exhibit up ahead, the tank itself making up the arched ceiling with a tunnel passing through. Makoto can’t hold his excitement as he races forward, stopping at the mouth of the tunnel with wonder in his eyes. He waits for Haru to catch up with him before he steps forward and looks overhead in awe. They get about halfway through the tunnel when a miniature shark starts gliding above their heads.    

“Wow!” Makoto’s mouth is agape as he continues to look up, as if he’s standing at the bottom of the ocean with the vast coral reef surrounding him.

“Didn’t know Rin would be joining us today.”

“Haru!” Makoto laughs as he shakes his head. Haru stands beside him as he watches all the other creatures that continue to float by. “This is just amazing.”

“Yeah. Undeniably amazing.”

Makoto turns to look at Haru, but his heart swells in his chest when they come face to face. He wanted to catch a glance at Haru looking at the fish and water that surround them, knowing that the sight would be even more breathtaking than the exhibit they are in. What he finds is Haru looking at  _him_  instead, adoration shining through. As if they are the only ones here. Haru reaches out and links his pinky with Makoto’s, the gesture so natural at this point. “Come on,” He gives his hand a gentle tug. “I’m pretty sure the dogfish is this way.”

Makoto lets himself be pulled along to the end of the tunnel, knowing that he would willingly follow Haru anywhere. Like a sailor lost at sea that finally sees the saving beacon from a lighthouse, he follows. Time seems to slow as they continue the rest of their visit, never letting go of each other once. As they continued on, it gradually turned from the linking of pinkies to Haru fully threading his right hand with Makoto’s left. Makoto didn’t care who stared; all he cared about was the feeling of Haru’s hand in his, how small and warm it was. How perfect it felt. Today was about Haru and if this is what he wanted to do, Makoto would happily oblige. 

They are linked together when they finally find Makoto’s precious dogfish, both crouching to become eye level, his free hand pressing against the glass. They stay close together, their thighs pressed against each other when they sit beside each other to eat lunch. Even when they arrive at the gift shop, their arms brush comfortingly with every step they take, their hands instinctively gravitating towards each other.

Makoto nudges Haru’s shoulder. “Choose whatever you like.”

They are making their way down the aisles full of knick knacks, shirts, and magnets galore, but they start heading towards the shelf of stuffed animals. Makoto has always been fonder of the aquatic animal plushies. He eyes an adorable dolphin one, secretly wanting to get it for himself. It reminds him of the night on the balcony, of Delphinus and Cetus – of Haru. He watches as Haru looks at the variety in front of him until he reaches out and surprisingly takes an orca from the display, a tiny smile lighting up his face. He didn’t even know they had these as an option, considering that none of these animals were kept here. Maybe just to keep up the ocean aesthetic. “I like this one.”

Nodding approvingly, Makoto takes it from Haru as they make their way to the cashier. “Aww, it’s so cute!”

“Yeah, it reminds me of you.”

Makoto can feel the heat rising to his cheeks. He swings their hands as they wait in line. “And why’s that?”

Haru smirks. “You know, gentle – peaceful. Not sure about the graceful part, though.” He gets a pout for that. The look in Haru’s eyes soften. “But you’re also strong, powerful when you need to be.” An idea hits him then. “We should go on a trip to see them in the ocean one day. Maybe see some dolphins, too.”    

Makoto turns shyly, but the grin is inevitable until they finally get to the front of the line. He has to let go of Haru’s hand sadly to get his wallet out, but Haru instantly reclaims it when the orca is paid for. He’s about to hand Haru his gift as they leave the store, when he comes to a halt, letting their hands drop. Makoto tries to smother the smidge of disappointment. “Wait, I need to go to the bathroom.”

Makoto sits on a bench as he waits for Haru to come back. He proceeds to send some of the photos he took to the twins, knowing that they would want to see the fish too, when a voice calls out to him. “Alright, I’m back.”

When Makoto looks up, he is shocked to see an identical gift shop bag being held in front of him. He peeks over to see Haru’s face. “What’s this?”

“You didn’t think I was gonna let you walk out of here empty handed, did you?” He swings the bag impatiently. “Come on.”

“But Haru...” Makoto whines as he stands up. “Today was supposed to be about you.”

Haru proceeds to push the bag out even further until it makes contact with Makoto’s chest. “Makoto. Come. On.”  He waits until Makoto has a hold of it before taking the other bag in exchange.

Finally giving in, Makoto opens the bag, instantly recognizing what’s inside. “Haru...” He pulls out the same blue dolphin that he noticed in the store and clutches it tightly to his chest. He hopes it will muffle the sound of his beating heart. “Thank you so much.”

Haru doesn’t say anything, just smiles and takes Makoto’s hand back into his and leads the way out.

* * *

Haru is sitting on Makoto’s bed, scrolling through the numerous movie titles that are available when Makoto gets in his view, hands behind his back. They just returned from the promised mackerel dinner and wanted to relax for the rest of the night.

Haru sits up straighter from where he was leaning against the wall as he sets the controller down. “More surprises today?”

Makoto hums affirmatively as he pulls out the contents from behind him. One hand brandishes a lighter while the other is holding out a cupcake balanced on a small plate, a single green candle in the middle. Makoto beams when he sees Haru take note of the decoration. It’s a blue rose this time, some petals slightly messy, but if anything it makes it even more special.

“I can see that someone has been practicing.” Haru moves to sit on his knees, coming closer to the edge of the bed.

“Gou truly is a saint.” Carefully, he lights the candle, setting the lighter down so he can hold the plate with both hands. “Come on, make a wish.”

“You know I don’t like dessert that much. And my real birthday is over already.”

Makoto does know this, but that won’t stop him. “But it’s tradition!” He sways the plate back and forth. “Come on. Humor me. It’s not that hard to make a wish.”

When Haru still doesn’t budge, Makoto starts to sing  _Happy Birthday_  in the most flamboyant, over-the-top way possible. He’s halfway through the song when Haru places one of his hands over his mouth to stop him. “Alright! Alright!”

Makoto makes an appreciative noise in triumph as soon as Haru removes his hand and closes his eyes. That doesn’t stop Makoto from singing the last part of the song, changing his approach and taking it more seriously, making it as soft and sweet as he can.  _“Happy birthday to you.”_

With a gentle huff, Haru blows the candle out as he slowly opens his eyes. Makoto is staring curiously back at him as the small cloud of smoke swirls in the air. “So... What did you wish for?”

“Uh-uh. You know birthday wish rules.” Haru reaches out and pats Makoto’s cheek. “I’m not telling.”

“It was worth a shot.” Makoto goes back to the kitchen to set the cupcake aside. He picks up an extra blanket from the floor as he climbs back up on the bed and makes himself comfortable at Haru’s side. “What did you want to watch?”

Haru taps the controller against his chin thoughtfully. “How do you feel about  _Train to Busan_?”

Makoto audibly gulps, trying to hide his nervousness as he fiddles with the blanket he is currently cocooned in. “Uhhh... Isn’t that the one with the zombies?”

Haru turns away from the screen. “Yeah, have you not seen it before?”

“Well...” Makoto is looking everywhere he can, anywhere except at Haru. “ _Zombies_.”

“Oh. I get it. Well, that’s fine then.” Haru shrugs as he goes back to flipping through the titles. “How about  _A Rat’s Life 2?_ Sousuke said that it made Rin cry the other day, so it’s probably good? Who knows if Rin’s tears are a determining factor on whether a movie is good or not though – “

“No! No!” Makoto wants to make sure that they do everything that Haru wants because that’s all he aims to do. Make Haru happy. “ _Train to Busan_ has been on my watch list for a while now. I just never found someone to watch it with.”

Haru looks unimpressed, his voice flat. “Makoto, you don’t have to prove anything to anyone. It’s just me.”

Makoto is persistent though. He unwraps himself from his blanket burrito and offers the open end in Haru’s direction. “No, it’s what you want. It’s your birthday celebration.” His mouth is set in a determined line. “We’re watching this.” He waits until Haru crawls over and takes the spot under his arm, Makoto securing the blanket around them both. His sudden bout of bravery diminishes, though, as he holds Haru closer to his side. “Just... Protect me.”

Haru laughs tenderly, pressing the play button as he snuggles in closer. “Always.”

With his new dolphin plush in one arm and Haru in the other, maybe watching this movie wasn’t such a bad idea.

* * *

Watching this movie was such a bad idea.

Makoto has his eyes squeezed shut as he continues to hide under the blanket, his only shield from the horror that is blasting through the speakers. All he can hear is the assumingly gory action that is happening at the moment, trying hard not to picture it in his head. He’s been here for a while now, has been ever since the first zombie outbreak. He watched as much blood gush as he could before he burrowed deeper into the blanket, shrieking on the spot. He thinks he would have passed out by now, but the warmth of the body beside him makes everything bearable. The only comfort he has is the steady beating of Haru’s heart that is pressed against his ear, the hand that is combing through his hair.

Scratch that. Watching this movie was such a genius idea.

He can hear a song playing now, the screaming having died down quite a bit. He feels Haru pat his side encouragingly; can hear the laugh in his voice. “You can come out now.”

Reluctantly, Makoto releases his death grip on Haru, shifting the blanket so that the top of his head is sticking out. He takes in the comfortable ambiance of the room, the sun having set while he was hiding, the only light coming from the credits rolling on the screen. He feels the bed dip as he looks over at Haru leaning over to the foot of the bed, flicking on the lamp that he keeps on the table there. The room is draped in a warm glow.

Haru arches a brow. “Pretty great movie, huh?”

Makoto stretches his arms as he sits up and leans against the wall. “Yeah, yeah. For sure.” He links his hands together as he reaches towards the ceiling. “Would definitely watch again.”

“I mean, there is a pretty great storyline.” Haru nudges his shoulder as he picks up the dolphin and taps Makoto’s nose with its soft snout. “Maybe you can really appreciate it the next time we ‘watch’ it.”

Makoto feels all fuzzy at the idea. Of being close to Haru in that way again. “Definitely next time.”

Haru smiles as he starts moving towards the side of the bed. Makoto hurriedly rushes forward, grabbing onto Haru’s wrist. “W – W – Where do you think you’re going?”

“I think I should get going now.” He looks at the floor. “Where did I leave my bag again?”

“But – but,” Makoto really hates seeing Haru go any other given time, but he really doesn’t want to be alone right now. “ _Zombies._ You said you would protect me.”

He might look pathetic right now, but he doesn’t care. Haru stands up as he walks closer to Makoto who looks up at him. He expects to see annoyance written all over Haru’s face, but instead his expression is a confusing mixture of things. He looks exhausted; maybe from the events of the day. There seems to be a tinge of sadness, maybe even nervousness all wrapped in one. He also can’t help but notice the subtle yearning that faintly lingers there. But that might just be his mind playing tricks on him. Makoto feels guilty for asking Haru to stay now. He’s about to tell him otherwise, when Haru speaks. “Let’s get ready for bed then.”

A day of firsts.

Makoto was about to get the air mattress that he keeps handy for him to sleep on while Haru takes the bed, but Haru insisted that Makoto sleeps on his own bed for the night.

“We could... Both sleep on the bed?” This might be one of the boldest things Makoto has ever done when it comes to Haru. But he feels like throwing everything to the wind today. “I mean, I’ll make myself as tiny as possible to give you the most space.”

It seemed like both boys were surprised when Haru agrees.

Makoto gives Haru one of his spare toothbrushes and lets him borrow an old pair of shorts, along with one of his shirts. It’s this old thing that he brought from Iwatobi, with orange making up the top quarter and yellow making up the rest. Makoto can’t help but internally squeal when Haru comes out of the bathroom. He’s practically drowning in the fabric, the shirt slightly hanging off his shoulder, a hint of his collarbone peeking out. He never knew how much he needed to see Haru in his clothes until now.

The room is dark as Makoto waits for Haru, who has gone back to the bathroom after grabbing something from his backpack. He’s facing the wall, replying to a few messages from Rin and Sousuke when he feels the bed shift behind him. He’s about to turn around to lie down on his back, when he’s stopped by Haru throwing his arm around Makoto’s waist, keeping him in place. “Don’t.”

Makoto’s about to ask if something is wrong, but Haru just holds him tighter. He feels Haru nuzzle closer, resting his face in between Makoto’s shoulder blades. His voice is muffled, but Makoto hears him loud and clear. “Let’s just stay like this for tonight.”

The line is completely gone now, as if it was never there. Makoto doubts he ever drew it in the first place. He silently locks his phone, placing it on his pillow. He slowly shuts his eyes, but not before laying his own arm on top of the one Haru has wrapped around him, as he murmurs into the darkness. “Okay. Make sure no zombies get me, yeah?” He lets their hands brush before he starts to drift off. “Goodnight, Haru.”

He’s not sure if he remembers exactly what Haru said back. All he can vaguely recall is whispered words in his drowsy state and the faint press of something warm and soft against his temple before he fully succumbs to sleep.

* * *

The sunlight is slowly filtering through his balcony doors as Makoto opens his eyes. He’s about to start getting ready for work when the memories from yesterday gradually come back to him, happiness tugging up the corners of his lips. He remembers the soft smiles they shared, the way their hands never seemed to want to be apart. How closely he was held during the night. He stretches languidly as his arm delicately reaches behind him, not wanting to disturb Haru.

But he’s met with nothingness.

Makoto sits up, the blankets pooling around his waist as he looks around. He glances at the bathroom, wondering if Haru would be stepping out of there soon. He gets up and peers into the kitchen, wondering if Haru was getting a head start on breakfast. He checks the balcony, wondering if Haru was enjoying the quiet hours of the morning as the sun said goodbye to the moon. But they all turn up bare.

Makoto doesn’t know what is taking over him right now as he sits on the bed. It’s like his heart has turned to stone and is dragging him down, making him want to be swallowed by the earth. When just yesterday if felt like it was made out of soft clouds, making him feel light as air. It was as if he could touch every star in the sky. The heart is such a fickle thing.

He picks up his discarded phone and unlocks the screen, unconsciously bringing the dolphin into his lap. There’s only one message notification, sent earlier in the morning before he was even awake. It makes the weight of his heart lessen slightly.

**_sorry i had to go early. i didn’t want to wake you up. you looked so peaceful_ **

Makoto wants to argue this. He would stay up the whole night if it meant he didn’t have to wake up to an empty apartment ever again.

**_thank you so much for yesterday. you’re wonderful_ **

**_i’ll see you soon x_ **

Makoto locks his phone as he flops backwards onto his sheets. He’s used to waking up alone – accepted it. He always knew that he would never share his bed with someone else. But that didn’t mean the prospect of waking up and feeling someone close to him during the dawn of a new day didn’t excite him. Of feeling  _Haru_ next to him when the world was most still.

He missed his only chance – because Haru wasn’t his. But Makoto was unconditionally Haru’s.

Nothing could ever change that.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter could have went on forever, to be honest. Fun fact: there was a mini blackout on my street when I was writing this, so that was an experience... 
> 
> But okay, ever since that drama track with Rin/Makoto and now Rin/Steve, Rin and cats have become one of my fav dynamics. I feel bad for him though; maybe someday Makoto can teach Rin his ways. 
> 
> ALSO, [winking Haru is a thing!](https://twitter.com/halffishharuka/status/1092891767396012033) I literally wrote that scene before this cover was released, so I think that's pretty weird, ha ha. 
> 
> This is the star map I was looking at that shows the [celestial ocean](http://en.es-static.us/upl/2014/11/2014-nov-8-fomalhaut-ecliptic-pisces-aquarius-night-sky-chart.jpg), [Delphinus](http://www.seasky.org/constellations/assets/images/delphinus.jpg) and [Cetus](http://www.seasky.org/constellations/assets/images/cetus.jpg), if anyone was interested. As soon as I saw these I was like, P E R F E C T.
> 
> Until next time! I hope to update as soon as I can!
> 
> Song Inspo:
> 
> [Ruelle Ft. Fleurie - "Carry You"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i39fan8ow-o) \- This song is so heartwrenchingly beautiful. I think it has aspects that can be seen from Mako and Haru's POV.
> 
> [The Greatest Showman - "Rewrite the Stars"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdjR2lvIfJ4) \- Also known as the alternative title to this fic. It would've been easier to say as well, whoops. But I think these lyrics say it all.
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading and I hope you have a lovely day <3


	3. honey you are a rock / upon which i stand

* * *

Haru’s not scheduled to work for the next couple days, much to Makoto’s relief and disappointment. But he’s glad he could have the time to breathe. He did his best to hide the events of the morning, putting on a smile as he enters the cafe. Sousuke and Rin are already there, with Sousuke making Rin’s usual drink. Sousuke gives him a nod as he continues to mix, but Makoto meets Rin’s gaze as he passes by. There are questions hiding there, but Makoto doesn’t have the energy to answer them.

The day passes by in increments, the seconds feeling like hours. Makoto can’t help but look over at the end of the bar, wanting nothing more than to see a certain beautiful eyed boy staring back at him. But the empty space just reminds him of his empty apartment. Of his empty chest where his heart used to be.

It’s finally the end of his shift as he locks up the shop for the day, before he heads into the back room. He is taken aback when he sees that Rin is sitting there on the couch, one leg crossed over the other.

“Hey. Umm... Is everything okay?” Makoto hesitantly asks, hiding the tremor in his voice, hiding behind his facade. He unties his apron as he looks over at Rin. Makoto knows that Sousuke left earlier than him, is probably on his way to the university pool for some leisurely swimming, maybe some extra practice before the next semester starts up again.  He’s surprised that Rin was still here. “You know how Sousuke can be when one of us is not with him. I am not in the mood for another Code Sousuke this month.”

“More like this _week._ ” Rin shakes his head fondly and uncrosses his legs. “Don’t worry. I made sure that he repeated the directions to the pool at _least_ three times before I let him out of my sight. I’m still debating if I should go for a bell system, signal flares or splurge on a tracking device.”

“Definitely a tracking device. Sometimes you just got to invest.”

Rin laughs as he stands up, tying his hair back with the elastic tie around his wrist. He makes his way to the door where Makoto stands. “Anyways, I was about to ask you the same thing.”

Makoto pauses his rummaging through his bag that rests on the table that sits near the door. “Hmm. Ask me what?”

“Makoto,” Rin’s in front of Makoto now, his eyes piercing but there’s something else behind there. Sadness - concern. It’s familiar; it’s the same look he gave him this morning. But it’s also the same look he gave him when Makoto tumbled to the floor all those weeks ago. When Haru tumbled into their lives. “Is everything _okay_?”

If Makoto had known that he would be walking into an interrogation of all things today, he would have avoided the back room at all costs. He does his best to give his signature smile. “I’m fine.”

“Makoto.” Rin is nothing if not relentless. Makoto has been on the other end of these conversations enough times before to know that Rin will not back down until he hears the truth.

“... I’m trying to be.” The smile falls as Makoto looks at the floor. “I want to be.”

“You want to tell me what’s up?” Rin stills, approaching the next question carefully. His voice is hesitant as his gaze softens. “Is it about Haru?”

Makoto freezes, as if time had finally caught up with him, bringing him back from the haze of the day. His instinct is to quickly deny everything, tell Rin some made up problem that he doesn’t give one damn about. But he’s just so tired. He admits that pretending for Haru was one of hardest things he’s ever done. It didn’t help that he wasn’t the most discrete. But Haru didn’t seem to mind. And that’s what made him think it was okay.

But he’s not okay. He can’t even pretend for himself anymore.

Makoto does nothing to stop the tears that stream down his face. Rin quickly rushes forward, holding Makoto in his arms as he leads him to the couch. They sit side by side, with Makoto leaning against Rin as he cries into Rin’s shoulder, the fabric of his shirt getting stained with tears as Rin soothingly rubs his back.

It’s feels like an eternity before Makoto gathers his thoughts and his breathing evens, only slight hiccups leaving him as he turns to face the other boy. “I really don’t understand what’s happening. I thought that I would be okay with being just his friend. I really did.” He sinks even further into the couch. “I’m a Partial. I know that already. But it has _never_ hurt like this before.” He knew he was laying his heart to slaughter the moment he linked pinkies with Haru that day. The day he made that promise. But he could never deny Haru anything.

Rin says nothing, just continues to rub patterns up and down Makoto’s back, letting him bare all that he has been bottling up inside. Eventually, Rin treads slowly, having already figured it out. He probably did a long time ago. “You love him, don’t you?”

It comes out in a harsh whisper, as if Makoto’s afraid to speak the truth. “I really do.”

Now that he said it out loud, it only makes the reality more horrible – more painful. The tears start to flow again, and Rin rushes forward to bring Makoto into a steadying embrace. “Makoto, I’m so fucking sorry.” Makoto can hear the tears as Rin speaks, his voice choking up. “I know that doesn’t mean shit, but you deserve everything. You have one of the biggest hearts. You have so much love to give. You’re one of the best people I know.”

They both take some time, Makoto clinging onto Rin like he’s the only anchor that he has in this moment. His Partial side hates him, scolds him for overstepping the limits. He almost wishes he couldn’t feel at all.

But his heart, wherever it is, praises him, _congratulates_ him for this love that he found. Because in their world, things moved fast; emotions were powerful. There was no such thing as _Too soon_ , more like _Why wait?_ Falling in love was second nature and Makoto was no exception. He fell hard and he kept falling, even when Haru helped him back up. When the tears die down again, he warily asks, “How do I make it stop?” Rin looks at him, waiting for him to elaborate. “How do I stop _feeling_ this way?”

This wasn’t right, not by the universe's standards. But Haru has made Makoto feel things he never has before. Things he thought he would never get to experience in this lifetime. He doesn’t know if that’s a privilege or a curse.

Makoto thinks about a lot in that moment. He thinks of stunning eyes that could see past his shell and deeply into his soul. He thinks of a soothing voice praising him, comforting him, when he felt the most vulnerable. He thinks of a delicate hand in his, almost fragile in comparison, and how it gave him strength to be who he is. To be unashamed of it.

He thinks of arms holding him tightly, securely and what he would give to do the same whenever he wanted. To be a shield, a protector. He thinks of a faint beauty mark upon the other’s cupid’s bow and how he wants nothing more than to press his lips against it. To worship it and every other inch of the other boy because it’s what he deserves. He thinks about how he wants to leave a mark on Haru, just as Haru had done to him. No, it’s definitely a blessing in disguise. He smiles sadly.

“Makoto, listen.” Rin is commanding when he wants to be, but there’s a soft undertone to his voice as Makoto looks at him. “I don’t know how the world came to be this way. The universe really is a bitch to prevent people from having a chance at love. Most people want it and we all fucking deserve it. So don’t think I wouldn’t get Sousuke to beat the living shit out of fate if we ever met.” That receives a small laugh from Makoto, the first bit of happiness he felt all day. “But right now, and it may sound like bullshit, just give it time.”

Makoto looks at him with glassy eyes as Rin’s voice wavers. “Time is what allows us to heal until we’re ready to move on.” He pauses, taking a deep breath as he steadies himself. “I remember how I felt when my dad died.”

Makoto wants to interrupt. He doesn’t want Rin to get into something he doesn’t want to. “Rin...”

“No, it’s okay.” He’s given a small smile before Rin rushes on. “It hurt like hell in the beginning. To hear the news that one of the most important people in my life was taken away from me.” Makoto remembers the day when Rin called him and Sousuke over, how quiet yet distraught he was. When they got there, they both just took Rin and Gou into their arms as they huddled around them closely, with no words needing to be said. Even when Makoto had to leave for the night and Gou went to bed with her mother, Sousuke stayed with Rin, not once leaving his side, as he cried silently in the dark. Makoto remembers how distant Rin became for a while during that time in elementary school. How he didn’t want to leave the house unless necessary. How he took a break from swimming. 

He’s usually not this vocal about his father since his passing all those years ago, wasn’t even back then. Rin’s eyes glisten before he hastily rubs at them. “It hurt knowing that my hero wasn’t with me anymore. I loved him so much. I will always love him.”

“It took a while, but time passed and then I slowly became okay. I decided to swim again, to _live_ again, for myself and for him.” Rin looks thoughtful. “You and Sousuke helped me through it, you know?” A small laugh. “And I’m so grateful for that. You were there for me, but I think time is the other thing that pushed me through. It helped me until it didn’t hurt as much as the day before.”

Makoto can’t help but bring Rin into his arms. It’s moments like this that remind him that people will speak themselves when they’re ready; when they have the strength to do so. And all others should do is listen. He gives an encouraging, watery smile. “Thank you for telling me.”

Rin pulls back as he places his hands on Makoto’s shoulders. “For now, just feel.” Makoto was so distracted by Rin’s story that he forgot about his own troubles for a moment, before they come crashing back down. His chest seizes at the prospect. “There are so many kinds of hurt. It gets you for a while, especially when you least expect it. It’s unavoidable.” Rin looks sincerely into his eyes, giving Makoto all the support he can. “But for now, be hurt. Even if it’s tearing you apart.”

Makoto wants to believe him; that time will really help him get over Haru. But Rin has been wrong before. “But, Makoto, listen to this first. I see the way you look at him.” Rin hands Makoto a tissue. “Saw the way you looked at him as soon as he walked in that day. I saw your whole face light up. I’ve never seen you that way before.” Rin lets out a frustrated breath. “I was worried for you. I didn’t want you to get attached. I didn’t want you to get left behind.”

Makoto gives a half-hearted laugh. “A little too late for that.”

“But I’ve also seen how he looks at you.” Rin still looks exasperated, Makoto instantly recognizing the stubbornness there as he continues on. “I can see the fondness. I probably look at Sousuke the same way. But there’s something else there. Something like longing, as if he’s holding himself back.” Rin takes Makoto’s wrists into his, holding them gently. “He looks at you like a fool that fell in love with the moon and stars.”

A glimmer of hope flickers in the rawness of his chest, but Makoto doesn’t want to cave in. “I would think you’re talking about me.”

Rin shakes his head. “It’s obviously different, the way you treat each other. How you are around each other.” He looks optimistic. “I think he’s good for you. Just as you are good for him.”

“Rin...” This doesn’t settle well with Makoto. The thought of making knots and cuts in the string that is fate. It would upset the balance even more. It’s not fair for anybody. Haru’s soulmate deserves their chance at love, too. He likes to believe that all soulmates will eventually meet, as the stars have told. “He’s not meant for me. There’s some lucky person out there he deserves.”

Makoto sighs. “And they’re gonna give him the world.  I’m not gonna burden him.” He shakes his head insistently. “I can’t ruin this. I’d rather be in his life like this than not at all.”

Rin doesn’t look convinced. “Maybe you should let Haru decide that for himself.” Makoto is about to protest, but Rin holds up a hand. “Makoto, just talk to him. I think it will help the both of you.”

When it came to Haru, he’s felt a lot of things. But scared was never one of them. “Are you sure I can’t go for another round of pretending?”

“Because that worked so well the first time?”

Makoto slumps. He wants that closure, that next step. But not yet. He nods reluctantly. “Okay. I’ll think about it.”

Satisfied with his answer, Rin pats his back. He suddenly reaches up and removes the hair tie, shaking his hair out and running his hands through it. “I’m sorry, this is so messed up. Have I mentioned how shitty this is?” Makoto holds himself back from saying _Yes, you have_.

“The concept of soulmates should automatically mean fairytale endings and all that romantic, sappy crap for _everyone_ , goddamn it. As if they have the right to call themselves ‘a higher power’ and then they do things like this. It’s not that hard to understand. A soulmate for every single person. It’s as simple as that, almighty universe _youmotherfu_   – ”

Makoto stops him before a suspected rampage erupts. “Rin, calm down. It’s okay. It’s not your fault; it’s mine. It can’t be helped that I love Haru so much.”

“Hey, hey. No, it’s not. We agreed that it was the bitchass universe’s fault, didn’t we?”

Already sensing a losing fight, Makoto agrees, giving into Rin’s ways. He still doesn’t feel convinced. “Okay, okay. We did.” He stands up, turning back to face Rin. “Thanks.”

Rin smiles as he stretches his legs, his rage simmering down a bit. “Anytime.”

Glad to have avoided dealing with an angry Rin, Makoto wipes the remaining tears from his eyes.

“You know, I think you should just scream to get even more off your back.” Rin suggests as he picks up his discarded bag.

Or maybe not. Makoto tilts his head. “What do you mean?”

“You got to let the rest of your frustration out. And you gotta do it for you. I’m always the one that does the understandable raging on your behalf.” Rin snaps his fingers, as if a genius idea struck. “Come on, just yell: ‘Fuck you universe!’”

Makoto slings his backpack over his shoulders before crossing his arms. “Uhhh, maybe you’re okay with that because the universe has been nice to you, but personally, I don’t want to make it angry.”

“Okay, don’t curse the universe. Even just a swear feels invigorating.” He pats Makoto’s chest. “Just yell, ‘Fuck’.”

“Fu–dge.”

Rin stares. “Makoto, come on. ‘Shit’.”

“Shiht–zu.”

“What are you, seven? Fine, guess I’ll do it for you. Again.” Rin raises his arms and arches his back as he bellows, “FUCK YOU, UNIVERSE!”

There’s a sudden crash that comes from outside the hallway; it sounded like it distantly came from the kitchen. Makoto knows the lights are already off in there and that it was clearly person-free the last time he checked. He squeals as he jumps behind Rin, the other’s gaze serious. “Who’s there?”

“See you made it mad!” Makoto is shaking from his spot behind Rin, clutching onto the back of his shirt. “Or even worse, it could be the ghosts! Why would you call out like that?”

“To see _who’s there_?”

“I don’t want the ghosts to answer back!”

“You know Sousuke was just fucking with you.” Rin rolls his eyes, placing a hand on his hip as he shakes Makoto off. He heads towards the door, making his way to the kitchen.

Makoto waits with bated breath as he slowly follows Rin, not wanting to be far away. From the view at the door, the kitchen is dark and empty, as expected, but there’s a large mixing bowl lying abandoned on the floor. “See, it probably just fell from the table.”

“That’s what they want you to think.” Makoto rubs his arms nervously, glancing over his shoulder and then looking up at the ceiling, looking for any signs of supernatural matter.

Rin reaches over to pick it up, flipping it this way and that, checking the bowl as if he was looking for something. Makoto frowns. “What are you doing?”

“Oh, nothing.” Rin sets the bowl down as he leans against the table. “I was just looking for your courage.”

An unamused glare. “Fudge off.”

“See, now we’re getting somewhere.”

The abrupt ringing of Rin’s phone only spooks Makoto more. Rin doesn’t even look at the screen before he’s bringing the phone up to his ear. They are already heading for the front doors as Rin sighs, defeated. “What do you see around you, babe?”

* * *

It’s been a week since Makoto had properly seen Haru. With a bit of a pleading to Natsuya, he somehow managed to get his schedule at the cafe lifted. He told Natsuya that they need some extra help at the pool and he gave him the hours off. He was being a coward, but he didn’t know what else to do.

During that time, he would always tell Haru that he wouldn’t be able to hang out anytime soon. It pained him to say so. To fall back to where he was before. The hurt was back, the same mysterious hurt from the beginning. But this time around was harsher – more excruciating. That imaginary tether that had managed to mend itself during their summer together had broken apart again. But that was all on Makoto.

Haru didn’t question it; he just let Makoto be on his own. But Haru would constantly check up on him through text, though. He never failed to tell him _Good morning x_ and _Goodnight x_ every day since, no matter how mundane it seemed. There was a random cat picture sent here and a sunset panorama there all because he knew how much Makoto loved those. He would even send song links to him, telling Makoto: _This made me think of you_. It was the little things that were still able to bring a smile to Makoto’s face, but a stab to his chest.

On top of the guilt that comes with the avoidance, Makoto just doesn’t feel like himself. He’s just so used to being around Haru at this point that it feels like he doesn’t know how to function anymore. He feels hollow. It reminds him of how he used to be before Haru; how he was fine with going through the motions. But being just _fine_ wasn’t enough anymore. It’s all different now.  

 _Soon, I’ll see him soon_. Despite his somewhat found resolve, he still needed to see Haru. He had to; he can only take so much before he truly falls apart.

Makoto is looking over his regimen that he wants to go through with the class as he walks into the pool area. It’s mainly empty, with only a few people swimming some laps in the farther lanes before the classes begin.

“Hey, Makoto.”

Makoto looks up to see Nao standing there, already dressed in his coaching wet suit, his fingers tangled in his hair as he brings the strands together. He’s been letting it grow out for a while now, the length at his shoulders.

Makoto’s smile is already on display, but it’s too forced, not him. But he’s used to faking it on his worst days. “Hey, Nao. How’ve you been?”

“I’m great.” Nao finishes his ponytail, securing it with a hair tie. “And how are you?”

The response is automatic, robotic. “I’m fine.”

Behind his glasses, Nao eyes him critically. Nao is just as good a lie detector as Rin, but he hopes he lets it slide for now. After one final onceover, he gives up, sighing. “If you say so.”

Makoto breathes, looking down at his clipboard. “But,” At Nao’s voice, he peers up again. “You have some time before your class starts, and I think,” Nao looks over Makoto’s shoulder, a warm smile on his face. “Someone’s here to see you.”

“Hi, Nao.” A voice from behind him speaks up. A voice that he missed hearing for the last week, its low timbre sending shivers through his body. He slowly turns around and is met with eyes he longed to see; eyes that always see right through him. Haru has his hands in his front hoodie pocket as he tilts his head, a shy grin dancing across his lips. “Hey, Makoto.”

“Uhhh...” Makoto can’t believe that Haru is _here_ of all places. He knows how much Haru has avoided the pool for most of the summer. It’s the last place he expected to see him and he almost drops his clipboard in the process.

“I’ll leave you guys alone.” Nao says as he starts walking away.

With nowhere to run, Makoto lifts his head. “Hey, Haru.” His voice sounds nervous even though he tries to sound excited. “What are you doing here?”

Haru takes a step forward and Makoto does everything he can to not take a step back. He’s not ready for this. He thought he would see Haru _soon_ , but _soon_ meaning on his own terms. The universe really does want him to suffer. “I’m here to see you.”

Haru grins. “Aww, look at you. Never realized how adorable you are in your coaching uniform.” His tone is light, but Makoto can still feel the slight tension. He can feel how the distance affected both of them. He can tell that Haru knows that Makoto had been trying to be nonexistent to him. Haru removes his right hand from his pocket, reaching out to hold Makoto’s. **_It’s meaningless._** “I missed you.”

Makoto has to stop this. He can’t let himself fall into this again, no matter how much he wants to hold on tighter. But having Haru here in front of him, it’s no use. Maybe he can play the fool for a little while longer. How can one person make him feel so powerful and weak at the same time. “Sorry I was gone this week. But,” He sighs, letting the words fall from his lips so easily. “I missed you, too.”

Haru beams as he steps even closer, but his voice is still timid. “Actually, I came here ‘cause I needed to talk to you.”

What’s left of Makoto’s heart picks up, scared of what Haru has to say. _No..._   Haru must have seen the fear in his eyes because he’s right in front of Makoto now, his other hand reaching out to hold Makoto’s cheek. “No, no. It’s nothing bad. It’s just,” His thumb is gently caressing his cheekbone now. “I didn’t want to wait anymore. It’s something I needed to tell you in person.”

Makoto can sense the subtle urgency that lingers between them, drawing him in. “Alright,” He says gently as he looks down at Haru. “What did you want to tell me?”

“Wait. Not now,” Haru reaches up to brush Makoto’s hair back. “Later, I was thinking we could swim together first.”

“You want to s–swim? H–here? T–together?” Hearing Haru say those words sound foreign to his own ears, as if Haru was speaking a different language. “But... You never wanted to do that before.”

They are so close now, Makoto having no choice but to look into Haru’s eyes. His _mismatched_ eyes. Remember – pretend. “But I want to now.”

Haru reaches down to take Makoto’s other hand into his, letting them fall between them. “So, can we? I know that you’re closing today, so do you think we can have the pool to ourselves for a while?” Despite it being his idea, there’s a strange color to his voice, something on the verge of nervousness. Haru seems to power through before he can change his own mind. “Just the two of us.”

And _oh_. Makoto could never deny Haru anything. He nods before his Partial side catches up with him. “Yeah, sure. I’ll see what I can do.”

What Makoto would do to keep that smile on the Haru’s face. There’s sudden chatter from behind Haru as they both take a look at the interruption. It’s coming from the hallway that leads to the pool area; Makoto’s class was about to start. “Okay,” Haru says as he looks back at Makoto. “I’ll just wait for you ‘til then.”

Before Makoto can register what’s happening, Haru is standing up on the tips of his toes, their hands still clasped together as he places a quick and gentle kiss on Makoto’s cheek. It seemed like it was impulsive, sending a shock to his core. He has no time to respond before Haru darts away from him, probably heading off to sit on one of the benches that are set up around the pool. He feels heat spread out from the spot as he reaches up to hold the phantom kiss to his cheek, to keep it imprinted there. _What in the..._

“Good afternoon, Coach Tachibana!” Makoto has no time to reminisce in this little slice of paradise as Misaki is looking up at him with his red and blue eyes. He sees so much of Rin and Sousuke in Misaki that it’s too hard to believe; he’s even got their determination. Maybe that’s why he’s got the softest spot for the kid. Misaki is grinning as he asks, “Who was that?”

Makoto feels out of his body. “Who was who?”

Misaki looks behind Makoto as if the answer was blatantly obvious. “That guy you were with.”

Makoto follows Misaki’s gaze until he sees Haru sitting there, scrolling through his phone as he leans against the wall. _Waiting for him._ “He’s a friend.” As if Haru can feel their eyes on him, he looks up and notices the two before he gives a small wave. Misaki happily returns it. Makoto’s hand is still on his cheek, holding onto the warmth that lingers there. “A really good friend.”

* * *

 “Okay, that’s all for today.” Makoto starts tucking the kickboards under his arm as he faces the class. “Good work, everyone!”

Despite Haru being there for the whole lesson, Makoto did his best to focus on his students. And that was a challenge within itself. The other students are saying goodbye to him as they shuffle towards the change rooms, happily chatting away. He starts to put the kickboards away when he notices that Misaki was not with the others.

Makoto instantly worries, wondering if Misaki was still in the pool, doing more than he was ready for. If he was pushing himself too hard again. He checks the pool, but notices that it’s empty, the water becoming still. He’s starting to panic again when a curious voice reaches his ears. “Hi! I’m Kuramoto Misaki. Do you swim?”

Over by the wall sit Haru and Misaki. There’s a towel slung over Misaki’s shoulders as he speaks to Haru. Letting out a sigh of relief, Makoto starts making his way over to them as Haru answers, “Nice to meet you. I’m Nanase Haruka. And yes, I do.”

“Really? What do you swim?”

“I mostly only swim free.”

Misaki lights up at the answer. “Me too!” He looks up when Makoto is standing directly beside him. “Coach Tachibana, your friend is cool because he swims free like me!”

“You’re right,” Makoto crouches down as he ruffles Misaki’s hair. “Only the coolest people swim freestyle.”

Haru laughs as Misaki looks at him again. “Are you gonna come to the next practice, too? Can we see your swimming then?”

Haru gives Misaki an encouraging look before catching Makoto’s eye. “I really hope so.” Despite himself, Makoto smiles, excited at the idea of Haru coming back. But first, the end of today’s practice means something else. _Just the two of us._

Misaki’s grin grows even more. “Yeah! Okay, well I gotta go now, but I hope to see you swim soon! Bye!” Misaki turns to Makoto. “Bye, Coach Tachibana!”

They watch as Misaki rushes away, until they are the only two left in the pool area. Makoto already told Nao about his and Haru’s plans after the last class. All Nao did was smile knowingly; he didn’t know what to do with that information. Makoto is still crouched down when he feels a soft hand run through his damp hair. “You okay?”

Makoto closes his eyes as Haru’s hand travels down from the top of his head to cup the side of his neck. He reaches up to hold Haru’s wrist. He will always be a fool. “Yeah, I’m good.”

Haru reaches behind him to grab the towel that was resting there and affectionately starts drying Makoto’s hair. He can’t help but melt at the attention, the intimateness of the gesture. When Haru’s done, he gently drapes it across Makoto’s shoulders. He takes Makoto’s chin into his hand, tilting his head upwards to look him in the eyes before he says, “I’m gonna go change now.”

Makoto can’t look away, even as Haru stands up and starts walking towards the change rooms. He waits until Haru disappears with one last glance over his shoulder. Shaking himself out of his daze, Makoto sets the towel back on the bench before making one final check of the pool. When he finds that everything is in its place, he doesn’t hesitate to jump into the water.

He admits that he misses swimming competitively, of being on a team. It was the best part of high school and it brings him such joy whenever he gets to see the others swim for their schools. But he also likes the comforting part of swimming. Of just letting yourself float and look up at the sky. Being able to see the clouds above him as he swam was always a perk of being a backstroke swimmer.

He’s just mindlessly drifting in the deep end of the pool until he collides with a lane divider, the last one that separates the lane closest to the wall. He holds onto it before he swim’s over to the end of the pool. He wasn’t in the mood to do a regulatory dive before he starts swimming, so he just holds onto the wall before he imagines the sound of the signal gun going off and pushes off.

He puts all he’s got as he raises his arms high and propels himself backwards, letting the force course through. There’s no sense of competition in the slightest, but he keeps going until he knows he’s getting closer to the other side. If he was in a real race, he would be turning back around to make a complete lap, waiting for the cheers of his teammates and friends in the stands. But when he makes it to the shallow end, he just stops and stands in the pool, breathing heavily as he brushes the hair back from his forehead.

“See, powerful!”

Makoto looks over to the other end of the pool, his breath hitching. Haru’s hands are dropping from where they were cupped around his mouth to get his message to Makoto. Even from a distance, Makoto can always see the hint of that smile, no matter how small it might be.

With Haru standing there, he can see the hard planes of his body. His torso is toned, although he’s lither than Makoto’s broader frame. _Delicate_. His eyes run down the smooth skin, following the trail where the dimples of his hipbones disappear under a pair of black legskins with curved purple and white stripes decorating the sides. They reach only mid-thigh before showing the shape of this calves, the dainty arches of his feet.

Other would see the swimmer’s body, built from cutting through the water. He expects to see a swim cap and the tell-tale black goggles that Asahi had mentioned perched up on his head, but there’s no such gear to be found. Because he’s not the mysterious, miraculous swimmer from Hidaka University right now. He’s just Haru. All Makoto can see is _Haru_.

Makoto is about to call back to him, but he sees the rise of Haru’s shoulders as he takes in a slow breath. Makoto knows that feeling, the anticipation of not knowing what’s going to happen when you reach the other side of the pool. With one final look in Makoto’s direction, Haru dives in.

Makoto’s entranced, everything around him fading until there was only them, like their own oasis in the desert. He finally understands what Asahi was raving about. It’s like nothing he’s ever seen before. It looks so graceful, so effortless, as if he’s part of the water. It’s like it accepts him, they way that they flow together.

He can feel the remains of his heart soar, feeling lighter than it did a week ago. He watches Haru make his way across the length of the pool, making his way towards him. As if Haru was bringing the stolen pieces of his heart back to him with every movement of his arms, getting closer and closer. He almost feels whole again. _Almost._ The time apart really took a toll on him.

 _He’s beautiful._ As if there was any other way to describe him.

Makoto’s in one end lane, with Haru on the other end. He takes one final dive before he finally emerges, shaking the water droplets from his hair. He slowly swims to the ladder, climbing up the steps before he sits down beside it, letting his feet dangle in the water. Makoto sees Haru close his eyes before he leans back on his hands, head tipped up towards the ceiling.

Silently, Makoto walks over, the waterline hitting his waist, until he’s right in front of Haru. Haru hasn’t opened his eyes yet, but he’s slightly taller than Makoto while sitting on the pool’s edge. Makoto smiles as he lifts his head up.

“I can finally see what Asahi was saying.” Makoto praises, one hand coming up to rest on the floor beside Haru. “Your swimming is amazing! You’re amazi–“ The words die in his throat as Haru’s eyes slowly open. It’s like someone waking up from a long sleep, disoriented, before Haru finally looks at him. Makoto expects to see the green and blue eyes that he has fallen captive for the first moment he saw them before his heart stops all together.

The green and blue are still there, but they are different now. Yet they are the _same_. He knows this pattern, sees it every time _he_ looks in the mirror. Haru’s eyes are no longer solid, but fractured into pieces. Now, both his dark pupils are surrounded by the ocean rings, with the circular land surrounding them. The exact opposite of his own eyes looking right back at him. Blue meets green and green meets blue. They are still eyes that make up the world, like the moment they first met. But now they are eyes that make up _his_ world.

There is so much emotion in those eyes right now. There’s the slightest bit of happiness, of relief. Hesitance is next, worry is even more prominent. Makoto still hasn’t said anything, his whole being glazed over in confusion. Haru’s the first to move, slowly reaching out to hold Makoto’s cheek. Makoto’s still frozen, even when Haru brings up his other hand to completely frame his face. He leans in close, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of Makoto’s mouth. When he pulls away, he rests his forehead against Makoto’s, his voice hushed to a whisper. “I’m sorry to have kept you waiting.”

Those words are all it takes for Makoto to break. In the next moment, he’s wrapping his arms around Haru’s waist, pulling him close until there is no space between them. Haru’s legs are bracketing his body as his face is pressed to Haru’s warm chest. He can feel Haru’s hands running through his hair, calming him, holding him tightly as he cries.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... Well, that took longer than I expected. So, I apologize for such a long wait before this update if you were still keeping up with this story. But I swear, I wrote most of the next part and hope to (seriously) post that one as soon as I can. I have no intentions of abandoning this story in the slightest, so I hope you stick around if you're still interested in the rest. :D
> 
> Until next time!
> 
> Song Inspo:
> 
> [James Arthur Ft. Chasing Grace - "Certain Things"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-y2afvkOwws) \- This is Makoto’s theme for the fic because like the song says, “But I’m certain that I’m yours” and he has been Haru’s ever since the beginning. *crying for days*
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading and I hope you have a lovely day <3


	4. and i came here to talk / i hope you understand

* * *

They didn’t do much swimming. They just stayed there at the edge of the pool for eons, holding each other until Haru pressed a final kiss to Makoto’s forehead and helped him out of the water. He remembers the first time Haru helped him up. He never realized how important that moment was at the time; how important this boy would be to him. Everything had changed back then, just like how it changed now. The cover of moonlight made the streets empty as they walk back with no one around to stare. The secret was still theirs for a while.

Haru leans his head on Makoto’s shoulder, his right hand clasped with Makoto’s left. His other hand is wrapped around Makoto’s bicep as Makoto has both of their bags slung over his shoulder on his free side. They don’t utter a single word to each other the whole trip back. It wasn’t the place for it yet.

They finally make it back to Makoto’s apartment. But the last couple months have proved that this place has undoubtedly evolved from _his_ to _theirs._ The only light is coming from the slight opening in the curtains that cover the balcony doors. It’s enough for them to see each other as Makoto sets their bags down, toeing off his shoes. Haru does the same, until he turns and wordlessly nods his head towards Makoto’s bed.

Makoto lets Haru take the lead, turning on the lamp before he gets on the bed first. He sits so that his legs are up and bent at the knee. Makoto follows, going to the space across from Haru, copying his position so that their toes are touching until he faces him fully. That’s apparently too far for Haru before he’s scooting forward until his knees are tucked beneath the triangle created by Makoto’s, comfortably resting his feet on both sides of him. Makoto is reminded of yin and yang, the way two opposites fit together perfectly and balance each other out.

In the honey glow of the lamplight, they look at each other. Really _look_ at each other. There was no denying that Makoto’s emotions got the better of him in the pool. It prevented him from truly seeing Haru in this new light. But nothing’s gonna stop him now.

He’s the one that’s reaching out now. He’s holding Haru like he’s the most precious treasure; because to Makoto he _is_. He’s openly admiring him, wanting to see every inch of his beautiful face. It’s as if he’s mapping it all over again, this undiscovered terrain like it’s the eighth wonder of the world. He looks at the ocean water that spills into the green of the land in both of his eyes. To reassure himself that Haru’s real when the universe had supposedly let him believe that he wasn’t even supposed to exist. That another _Partial_ wasn’t supposed to be within the same lifetime as him.

Haru places one hand over the one Makoto has on his face. His other hand comes up in the space between them, his pinky already extended. Always waiting. Makoto watches as Haru’s eyes start to glisten, until a single tear falls, leaving a crystal trail behind. “Hi, it’s nice to meet you.”

Makoto lets out a shaky laugh, knowing that his own eyes are shining. He links his pinky with Haru’s, just like the first time and every time after. “Yeah,” He breathes. “It’s nice to meet you, too.”

More tears start to fall from Haru’s eyes, but they are different from before. There’s a shift as his lip quivers, his eyes downcast. Trying to avoid Makoto’s gaze. “Are you mad?”

Concern paints Makoto’s features. He gently lifts Haru’s face back up. “What? What are you talking about?” He wipes another tear that’s falling from Haru’s eye. It pains him to see Haru cry. “How could I _ever_ be mad?”

Haru chances another glance back up. “Because I made you go through this alone the whole time I’ve known you.”

Makoto can’t help but shake his head, as if to shake away the thought. He’s quick to pull Haru into his chest, Haru’s legs fully wrapping around his waist. His head is nestled into the column of Makoto’s neck, his arms looping around Makoto securely. He’s practically in Makoto’s lap by now, but it’s still not close enough. “No, _no_.” Makoto stresses, stroking the back of Haru’s hair. His lips are near the shell of Haru’s ear now, making sure that the words reach him. “You have _never_ made me feel alone.”

He can still feel Haru’s tears against the side of his neck. “But... I should have said something earlier. I should have told you soon– “

“Haru,” Makoto pulls back to frame Haru’s face, his thumbs sweeping underneath his eyes. “You didn’t owe me anything. It was your life to keep. No one can force you to reveal personal things about yourself if you’re not ready for it. You could have kept the secret forever and I still would always be by your side. Okay?”

Haru looks at him and Makoto is still shocked to see _his_ eyes on someone else. On _his_ Haru. They are still glassy before Haru closes them and leans forward to press their foreheads together, his hands playing with the hair on the back of Makoto’s neck. “I’m still so sorry. I swear, I trust you. I do. I knew you would have kept it secret if I wanted you to. But I was still so scared back then. The longer I hid it, I became more afraid of losing them.” He pulls back slightly. “Of losing you.”  

“Hey, no more apologizing.” Makoto can’t help but nuzzle their noses together, just because he can. At least he hopes he can, if only for a little while longer. “You could never lose me.”

* * *

They are lying down now, facing each other, surrounded in the lamp’s subtle glow. Haru is hugging Makoto’s dolphin to his chest, resting his chin on its soft head. They are both tucked underneath the blanket, with their hands and legs tangled together in the space between them. It’s comforting for them, makes them feel whole. It’s what makes up _them._

“How did you hide them?”

Haru fiddles with a loose thread on the dolphin’s head. “It’s probably really stupid, but they’re colored contacts. Prescription ones, too. I got a different color for each eye.”

“Hey, no, it’s not. It’s pretty genius, actually.” Makoto is impressed, surprised that the idea never crossed his mind. It was simple, yet effective, with no questions asked. He wonders if past Partials ever did the same. Colored contacts, though, were mostly only used by mated people. They were meant for style, not tricks. Unmated people usually just let their natural unmatched eyes show, wanting their eyes to say, _Look I’m here! Were you trying to find me?_ But they also conveyed messages of, _Hey, look, I’m normal. Give me a chance._ Makoto’s eyes always told a different story. Or rather, Makoto’s and _Haru’s_ always did. He gives a little laugh. “You didn’t want to try any other combination, though?”

Haru smiles shyly, shaking his head. “No, I’m pretty fond of the blue and green.”

Makoto can’t help but agree. The mood changes then, like a dark cloud looming overhead with an oncoming downpour, the underlying questions coming to surface. “So... The reason you never wanted to swim with me until now...”

“Can’t swim with them in.”

More pieces click together. “And the time you stayed over and went back to the bathroom...”

“Had to take them out before I slept.” Haru looks ashamed.

The most hurtful piece lodges in his chest. “And why you left before I woke up...”

Haru reaches up to cup Makoto’s face, making sure he can see the apology in his eyes. “I’m sorry for leaving. I wasn’t ready for you to see me like this yet.” Makoto can feel all the comfort Haru is trying to give him, feel it blanketing him all over. Haru sighs. “All I wanted to do was stay.”

Makoto doesn’t want to make Haru feel guilty, was never angry at Haru in the first place, so he just nods. “It’s okay.” He whispers, reassuring. “I’m just happy you came back.”

Haru just beams, as if the answer shouldn’t have been a surprise. “I’ll always come back to you.”

Just hearing that makes Makoto feel lighter than he has the whole week. There’s another burning question that Makoto needs to ask, but he knows it’s not his place to intrude. He shifts slightly, trying to adjust his arm from where it’s draped over Haru’s side. He’s trying to think of something else to say. But Haru doesn’t let him, already knowing what was going on in Makoto’s mind. Like he always does. “You want to know why I hid them.”

Makoto’s lost for words, his mouth clamping shut. Haru comes even closer, the dolphin squished between their chests. He brings their intertwined hands up to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of Makoto’s. “It’s okay. I want to talk about it. You, of all people, deserve to know.”

Makoto just nods his head, waiting for Haru to continue. “How long have you known Sousuke and Rin again?”

The question was not what Makoto was expecting. Haru already knows the answer, but he indulges him anyway. “Since elementary school.”

“And then everyone else came along?” Haru’s stroking random patterns on Makoto’s chest with his free hand.  Makoto just hums in response. “And they never left you behind?”

“Never.”

Haru smiles, but his eyes look sad. “I’m glad you had that growing up. Had them looking out for you.” He lets go of Makoto’s hand to hold his cheek instead. “’Cause I never did.”

Makoto instantly tightens his hold around Haru’s waist, running his hand up and down his back. Haru laughs harshly. “If the universe really wanted Partials to live the lonely life, they definitely did a good job at making sure that’s what happened to me.”

“I didn’t have friends growing up. There was no one that I really wanted to get to know. Most people were polite, but they never went out of their way for me. But maybe that was just me. Not the Partial part, just _me_.” Haru runs his hand through Makoto’s hair, brushing it back, distracting himself. “I was hardly outgoing. I liked to keep to myself and I guess people thought that meant that they should stay away.”

“Moving around because of my dad’s job didn’t help either. So I accepted it. Embraced it for a while all through elementary and junior high. I just let my eyes do the talking for me.” He presses closer. “They acted as a shield for me; it kept people away and I was okay with that. I didn’t care if people stared. I just didn’t _care_ about anything. Swimming, though, that was the only thing I had.”

“It was all I needed. I never bothered joining any teams when I was younger because I always knew that we wouldn’t stick around. But then I got to high school. It was the one time my dad promised that we would be there for a while.”

Haru’s eyes start to shine again, his voice sounding more strained. “Adjusting to new places had become natural to me. I was prepared for people to see the _Partial_ and then leave me alone. It was maybe halfway through my first week at the school, when some asshole pushes me aside and looks me in the eyes and asks, ‘ _So, what exactly’s wrong with you?’_ ”

“I didn’t get what he was asking at the time.” The tears start to well up even more now, but there’s more anger than defeat in his voice. “I don’t even know why the hell he kept going on when I wasn’t even responding. He said: ‘ _I mean, there must be a reason that you’re an unmated waste of space, right? ‘Cause I never thought that I would actually get to meet a thing like you. It’s like you’re a fuckin’ unicorn or some shit._ ”

“I was seconds away from punching him.” His gaze hardens. “But I didn’t say a thing, just stared him down. That guy had the nerve to laugh and shove me against the lockers anyways, telling me that he would see me around. Turns out he was captain of the swim team, too, so there was no way I was going to swim with such filth.”

“But he was enough. Enough to really hurt me. All through high school he would find a way to take a shot at me. And I did _nothing_. Back then he made me believe that he had a point. He made me feel worthless. That maybe there _was_ something wrong with me and that’s why I was meant to be alone. He said that my entire existence was meaningless.” Another stray tear. “The one time that we stayed in a place for a while and I couldn’t even call it a home. You wouldn’t believe how happy I was to finally graduate and move to Tokyo. To finally get away from him.”

Makoto cannot even process all of his feelings in this moment, but the rage is overwhelming. He wishes that he could have been there for Haru. He would have never left his side. He places his hand on the side of Haru’s neck, thumbing the underside of his jaw. His voice is dark, something close to a low growl. He even surprises himself. “I would’ve punched him for you.”

Despite the tears, that makes Haru grin, a quiet laugh escaping him. “I never pegged you for a violent kind of guy.”

“Well, if it’s for you,” Makoto looks down at their hands. “I would do anything. _Be_ anything.”

Haru leans forward, his forehead brushing Makoto’s chin. He can hear his smile. “My hero.” He snuggles into Makoto’s chest. “But it happened. It’s over. He’s gone now.”

That calms him a little. Settling down, Makoto nods, understanding. Because that was from before. That piece of scum isn’t worth any of their time or words. He controls himself, knowing that anger can only do so much. All he can do is be here – be here with Haru right now.

He tucks his head over Haru’s, holding him as tight as he can. Haru pulls out the dolphin from between them, placing it behind Makoto so that nothing separates them. “People like that are just sick. They’re scared of things that are different. Things they don’t understand.” He combs through Haru’s hair. “I think I’m the one that should be apologizing. I wish I could have been there for you. You should have never got to experience that and I’m so sorry you did.”

Haru slightly hits Makoto’s chest. “Stop that, you did nothing wrong. Don’t blame yourself.” 

“Alright, then I’ll blame the universe.” Makoto had his reservations when he said these things when it was about himself. But for _Haru_ , he has absolutely none. “I should have been this generations’ Partial. Not you. Wasn’t that the way it’s always been? It should have only been me.”

Haru shakes his head, brushing his lips between Makoto’s collarbone. “I was born before you Mr. November, so I think the Partial title was mine first.”

“Honestly, I don’t know what happened. But it doesn’t matter.” Makoto insists. He pulls back to look Haru in the eyes. “You’re not meant for this. You were destined to find your soulmate, I know it.” He brings up Haru’s right hand, running his thumb over the Phrase in the way he’s used to doing. Before he can stop himself, he presses his lips to the words. “This Phrase says otherwise, while I have nothing on my wrist. You’re one step ahead already.”

Haru doesn’t looked convinced. “I didn’t always have this. Pretty sure it’s not even a Phrase.” Makoto just stills, confused. “Not since birth. My wrist was just as blank as yours. It only showed a little while after I settled in Tokyo, before school started up. It burned so much; you wouldn’t even imagine. It hurt even more having it tattooed into my skin when I was least expecting it. When I saw that it said **_It’s meaningless_** , I thought that it was just another harsh reminder from the universe to permanently brand me as a Partial.”

“Maybe the universe was trying to fix their mistake when they realized that I was a Partial, too.”Makoto’s desperate for answers he doesn’t think he’ll ever have. He’s just piecing together his own conclusions blindly. “Maybe they are giving you that chance now. You can be like everyone else.”

“Makoto, breathe. It’s okay.” Haru’s hand is rubbing soothing patterns up and down Makoto’s arm. “I tried that already, being like everyone else. I remember being so scared of having my high school experience all over again when I started living here. I was still broken at the time.”

Haru sits up and reaches behind him, pulling something out of his bag. Makoto sits up, too, leaning his head on Haru’s shoulder looking at the item in his hands. It’s a contact container. He slowly reaches out, Haru allowing him to take it. He gently unscrews the lids of both compartments, until the solid rings of blue in one and green in the other are staring blankly back at him. “So when I got the mark, I didn’t see it as a Phrase. Not even sure it is one. All I saw was the opportunity to hide. So I got rid of my glasses and switched to colored contacts and have been wearing them ever since.”

“I still needed to swim; there was no way I was going to stop. I didn’t think it would be that hard to disguise my eyes in the pool since I always swam alone anyways. I found the darkest pair of prescription goggles I could. As soon as I went to any pool, they never left my face. That’s why it was harder swimming at the school pool. After I got to know Asahi better, he always tried to talk to me before his practice. But I couldn’t stop and talk, just waved and quickly told him that I would talk to him later.”

“It was so hard. Having these contacts – it kept me from swimming without worry. Made it feel like I wasn’t swimming freely anymore. And I hated it the whole time. Hated that I couldn’t be who I was in the place I loved most. The goggles were supposed to shield me, but I still felt vulnerable. Exposed.”

Haru takes the container back, screwing the lids closed and setting it aside. He readjusts the blanket before turning to face Makoto again. “I didn’t know what I would be walking into when I started at Marron that day. I thought it would just be a job where I can come and go. I didn’t expect them,” He reaches out, pulling one of Makoto’s hands into both of his. “I didn’t expect _you_.”

“I didn’t think I could have ever been accepted into a group where everyone was so genuine.” Haru smiles. “I didn’t think I was going to like you guys as much as I do.”

Makoto rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah, we’re kind of a clingy bunch. Sorry you got trapped in our chaos.”

“I’m not.” Haru looks up from where he was looking down at his lap. “I’m grateful for you guys. The guy from high school may have left his scars, but you all made it better. Thank you.”

Makoto leans in closer to press his forehead to Haru’s temple. “I think I’m the one that should be thanking you.”

“So, now that I have you guys, I’m done. I’m better now. You guys reminded me of the goodness that is out there.” Haru turns, moving his legs so that they drape over Makoto’s underneath the blanket, his arms looping around his neck. “Especially, you.”

Makoto places his hands on Haru’s waist, one of their favorite places to be. Despite the fabric, he bunches it up slightly so that he can trace idle circles on Haru’s hipbones. It just seemed to instinctual, as if Haru’s skin was his own. “How so?”

“You are the kindest person, even when the universe treated you unfairly. You showed your heart to the world when you had no reason to. I admire that, admire you.” Haru cups the sides of his neck. “How could the universe think that someone like you – no wait – not _someone like you._ Just _you_ , Tachibana Makoto, should not have a soulmate?”

Makoto huffs a sigh. “You sound like Rin.”

“’Cause, for once, he’s damn right.” Makoto laughs at that. “Why don’t you believe him when he says you don’t deserve this life?”

“I guess it’s just the way I am. I think more about the Partials from before who didn’t deserve this instead of myself. And now I think of you, who most definitely doesn’t deserve it, either.” Makoto shrugs as he holds Haru closer, the words tumbling out. “I like dealing with what I was given with no complaints. I always believed that everything was fated in a certain way. And just… I was okay being happy for others and celebrating with them instead. At least most of the time I was.” Hearing his thoughts out loud surprise him; he’s used to keeping it locked in. But Haru apparently has all the right keys. “But you, mister, have had me thinking otherwise ever since I met you.”

Haru kisses his cheek. Makoto is shocked that he hasn’t passed out from knowing how affectionate Haru can be when he wants to. Maybe he’s just happy that he doesn’t have to hide anymore. That he doesn’t have to shy away in front of Makoto. “I’m glad. I don’t want you to pretend anymore. Don’t put on a fake smile just because you think you have to. Our friends and I will understand if you’re having a bad day; you’re allowed to. It’s okay to not always be happy, Makoto.”

Maybe it’s because he’s been suppressing it for this whole time or it’s because _Haru_ who’s telling him, but it finally makes Makoto want to believe. “Okay. You’re right.” He clenches his teeth and furrows his brows. “I _am_ angry that the universe ever thought that Partials should’ve been created.”

Haru squints his eyes. “Umm… What’re you doing with your face?”

“This is my angry face. Can’t you tell?” He emphasizes his pout, the hopefully enraged look in his eyes.

Haru laughs. “Wow. I can see why you don’t show your angry face often.”

Makoto drops his expression, dancing his fingers up Haru’s sides. “Shut. Up.” This just makes Haru laugh harder. “But seriously,” Haru’s gaze softens, focusing all his attention on Makoto. “I admit. Of course it’s been hard. It bothered me my whole life, thinking that there was no one out there for me. I was the one who always put myself down, even when I had the others supporting me. That it probably was my fault in some way."

"I always felt like the universe was against me,” Makoto takes Haru’s face into his hand, wanting him to see all the love that he holds with this one look. He’s finally felt like he can breathe after being lost in space the time they spent apart. His voice is soft, meant only for the boy in front of him. “But how could it be, when it still led me to you?”

Haru just nods, already understanding. He turns his head to kiss Makoto’s palm. “I was just thinking the same thing.”

Makoto smiles, bringing their foreheads together. “Do you think this is it?” He can’t help the hopeful lilt to his voice. “That we’re the exception and that it’s over? That there will be no more Partials after us?”

Haru looks hesitant, reaching up to hold Makoto’s wrist. “Maybe. I don’t know.”

They could never be certain. It hurts not knowing what’s yet to come. He doesn’t want anyone to ever experience that. Knowing that _Haru_ had to go through it himself makes it hurt even more.

“But hey,” Haru’s thumb rubs Makoto’s wrist, the one that is still cupping his cheek. “Let’s just focus on what we can control.” Makoto can only agree.

“So,” Haru starts. “We’re gonna stop pretending, right?”

Makoto smiles, finally convincing himself. “Yeah, no more masks.”

“No more hiding anything else, right?” The glint in Haru’s eyes makes Makoto groan.

“Haru,” He whines, hiding his face in the other boy’s neck, hugging him close. “Please don’t embarrass me anymore than I have been doing for the last few months.”

“Makoto,” Haru says. He can feel Haru’s breath ghosting along the outside of his ear. “I think– ” A kiss to his neck. “–I was more– ” Another to his cheek. “–Obvious than–“ He lifts Makoto’s head from his shoulder, placing another on his forehead. His eyes roam Makoto’s face before he decides on a final sweet peck to Makoto’s nose, an even sweeter smile on his face. “–You.”

Makoto wants to hide his face in his hands, but they are way too comfortable with their place on Haru’s waist. “I–I –I thought you just were being nice and comforting! You, know, ‘cause you’re nice to everyone else?”

Haru fondly rolls his eyes. “’Cause I always hold hands with Sousuke, too?” He gives a physical shudder. “Or want to voluntarily cuddle with Rin? I mean they’ve become close to me, but no, Makoto. I don’t do that with just anyone. Just you.” His hold around Makoto’s neck tightens, reassuring him. “Only you.”

“Haru,” Makoto needs to know something first, an urge striking him then, his curiosity peaked. “Did you happen to _feel_ anything the first time you saw me?” He knows he’s being vague, but he doesn’t know how else to describe that mysterious pull from the very beginning.

Haru thinks for a moment. “If you were wondering if I thought you were cute the first moment I saw you, then the answer is yes.” It’s not what Makoto was looking for, slightly deflating that Haru didn’t feel as he did. Haru seems to sense this, trying again. “I also thought you were absolutely gorgeous. It was unreal. I couldn’t even process that another Partial was around me when I thought I was the only one. I didn’t know what to do. I even checked your wrist to see if you had the same mark as mine.” Makoto has never hated his blank wrists as much as now. “But hey, it doesn’t matter. What I feel for you _now_ is what counts. Cause, you’re it for me.”

“But why me?” Makoto knows that his self-doubt can’t help but rear its ugly head, always whispering insecurities into his ear, but he needs to be sure. “What if your mark _is_ a real Phrase? I can’t do that to you, or… Or…” _Your potential soulmate._ “I know that I am the only unmated person around, but I don’t want you to settle. What if you just need to keep looking?”

“Makoto, angel, no. Please don’t do that.” Haru can sense Makoto’s despair, hear his rising panic. “This mark means nothing to me, but _you_ do. I don’t need to keep looking; I wouldn’t even want to. I’m here with you, mistake or whatever, we’re here together now.” He reaches out to frame Makoto’s face. “I would _not_ be settling. You being _you_ is more than enough for me. I get to decide and so do you. Doesn’t matter what the universe says. It screwed us both over enough times.”

Makoto still sees himself in that cage, still always reaching through the bars. But he’s not alone anymore. Haru is standing there with him, his hand outstretched, a key lying in his palm. All Makoto has to do is take it, finally let himself out. It feels forbidden with the universe watching. But Makoto knows his decision has been made. A decision that he finally gets to make for himself, with the stars in his own palms and Haru guiding him through the galaxy.

He takes Haru’s hand into his, as if he was taking the key with it, lacing their fingers together as he holds their hands to his chest. He doesn’t even care if Haru can feel how fast his heart is beating. He wants Haru to know the effect he has on him. But he needs to hear it, that final confirmation before he steps out and leaves the cage forever. “Are you sure you want to be with me?”

Haru’s smile lights up his whole face. “It doesn’t matter if you don’t have a Phrase. It doesn’t matter if the universe thinks that we’re not meant to be soulmates. I want to be with you.” He leans forward, their foreheads pressed together, noses brushing. “Do _you_ want to be with me?”

Makoto’s free hand instinctually holds Haru’s chin, his thumb running over Haru’s lower lip. He breathes, the space between their lips getting noticeably smaller. “Of course I do.” He sees the small beauty mark again, so faint unless you were close enough to notice it. Makoto can feel the pull, bringing him undeniably closer to the center of his world. It’s moments like this where he thinks he doesn’t need to play by the universe’s rules anymore. With Haru, they are in a universe all their own. He doesn’t know who closes the distance first, but all else fades away when he feels Haru’s lips finally, _finally_ , press against his.

Like the waves coming up to gently caress the land, unable to deny the gravity of the moon, Makoto’s hands both come up to hold Haru’s face as their lips move in perfect harmony with each other.  It’s as if their bodies already know this dance, their lips knowing when to lead and follow. As if they were meant for this. But it seems that everything came naturally to them at this point.

Haru’s hands are threaded in Makoto’s hair, arms caging him in, but he doesn’t feel trapped like before. Knowing that he’s in Haru’s arms makes him safe, secure, but most of all free. Freedom and Haru taste so sweet on his tongue. It’s just them here in this space they created together, Makoto and Haru. Nothing had ever been more fated.

Reluctantly, Makoto is the first to pull away. But not before he gets a few more quick kisses in. He breathes, “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

Haru nuzzles closer, breathless. “I think I have an idea.” He presses another kiss to Makoto’s lips, the addiction starting to begin. Makoto can get used to this feeling.

The most genuine smile he’s had in weeks graces his face. Everything seems more genuine now, more real. Makoto can’t help but press a kiss to Haru’s forehead before he leans down, looking him head on. “I love you so much.”

Haru’s smile is the only thing that can rival the brightness of Makoto’s right now. “I love you so much, too.”

Makoto’s arms find their way around Haru’s chest as he holds him close. Nothing can ruin this moment. Haru’s head is propped up on Makoto’s shoulder, Makoto doing the same as him, as they face away from each other. The silence is enticing, letting the new stage of their relationship bask in its glow.

“You know,” Haru says casually, fingers fiddling with the collar at the back of Makoto’s neck. “I really, really liked hearing you say it a second time.”

Confusion takes space on their peaceful cloud as Makoto pulls back. “Second time?”

Haru places his hands on Makoto’s shoulders, always needing to be touching some part of him. “Well, I may have accidentally overheard the last bit of the conversation you were having with Rin that day at Marron.”

_Wait, what?_

“Wait, what?”

“I’m sorry, please don’t be mad. I really shouldn’t have been there, but I was looking forward to seeing you as soon as I could.” Makoto is still processing the information. “I didn’t hear much though, I swear! Since I wasn’t working that day, I thought I could surprise you. But then I heard Rin’s voice. I don’t know exactly what you were talking about before I got there, but you sounded sad. You had no idea how much I wanted to go in there and be with you. Rin was about to go off like he always does before you stopped him, I think. And then when you said you loved me, I kind of just froze. It wasn’t until Rin’s loud ass scream that I snapped out of it and ran through the kitchen.”

A lot had just been thrown at him unexpectedly. Sure, he should be concerned that Haru was so close to hearing his breakdown. But all he can say is, “So you were the ghost?!”

Haru looks puzzled. “What are you talking about?”

Composing himself, Makoto waves his hand, as if clearing away the thought. “Oh, oh, it’s nothing. We just heard some noises.” He puffs his chest out. “No freaking out on my end whatsoever.”

Haru shakes his head, already seeing right through it. “Well, I’m still sorry for scaring you guys.” He massages Makoto’s scalp. “So you’re not mad?”

“No, no, it’s fine. You didn’t mean to be there and you only caught the end of it.” He slumps a little. “Damn, I wanted to see your face the first time I told you.” Regardless that had been a fantasy. He didn’t think that he would be reciprocated at the time, but he knew it was something he still wanted to cherish. It would have been a moment that he knew would lift the weight off his back, no matter what the outcome.

“You did.” Haru smiles as he kisses his cheek. “I think my reaction will be the same every time you say it.”

Makoto’s eyes soften, so filled with affection. “So I guess I just got to keep saying it. Just to be sure.” He says, one hand going to Haru’s thighs, smoothing over his shorts to skim the soft skin, but hard muscle, the other wrapping around Haru’s waist. “I love you.”

Haru beams, the same loving look in his eyes as before. Makoto thinks that look never left in the first place. He’s most definitely the same way. He will always be moonstruck for this boy.

“I love you.” He leans in closer, pretending to look for a change in Haru’s face. But he’s still the same, still as a statue with that beautiful shine in his eyes. He’s maybe glowing even more.

“I _love_ you. I love _you_.” His hand slides up to cup Haru’s face instead, but Haru is too good at this. “I love you so so _so_ much.” He punctuates every ‘so’ with three pecks, one for each cheek and then his nose. Makoto laughs. “Alright, I believe you.”

Haru finally moves, looping his arms around Makoto’s neck once more. “Good.” He nuzzles their noses together. “And I love you. Never doubt that.” Makoto knows he’ll never tire of hearing it.

He can’t help but lean in for a proper kiss, his lips finding Haru’s again. They’re so lost in each other that Makoto doesn’t even register when his back hits the mattress, Haru half lying on top of him. It just feels so good, so right. Being able to have Haru here with him seemed like a far off dream, one that he could never reach. But now the dream is here, safe in his arms, breathing life into him and taking his breath away all at the same time.

* * *

They find themselves back underneath the covers, facing each other, neither wanting to look away. Kissing is starting to become one of Makoto’s favorite pastimes. He can’t even imagine how he would have survived never knowing what it would be like to becomes so accustomed to the feel of Haru’s petal soft lips beneath his, the taste of his skin. Makoto knows that Haru is probably sweeter than any icing rose. They keep stealing random kisses here and there, both of them too happy, too overjoyed to fall asleep just yet.

“Hey,” Makoto says, placing a kiss on Haru’s forehead. “Have I ever mentioned that you’re beautiful? Eyes and all, inside and out, you _are_.”

“Always such a sweet talker, huh?” Haru’s arms snuggle closer around his waist. “Thank you. You make me feel beautiful.”

Makoto nuzzles Haru’s nose. “Only for you.”

“Do you miss Iwatobi?” Haru suddenly asks, the random question throwing Makoto off.

“Hmm, well, of course, I miss my family and looking at the sea.” Makoto murmurs, but he leans down to meet Haru’s eyes. “But I’ve been doing better in this city for a while now. I have my friends, my other family.” He smiles, brightening up the darkness. “And now I have you.”

Haru kisses his collarbone. “Always.” Before Makoto can respond, Haru sighs. “Because I miss it.”

Makoto’s confused as Haru plays with the front of his shirt. “That’s why I got nervous before on the balcony. I’m sorry I didn’t mention it earlier when you brought up Iwatobi. I lived there for my most of childhood before our constant moving. There was a swim club there that I would always go to when I was younger. It was probably my favorite place to live for a while.”

“You were part of a swim club in Iwatobi?” Makoto hand pauses at the top of Haru’s spine.

“Yeah, why?” Nagisa’s voice rings in Makoto’s head. _Your eyes look familiar..._

Makoto shakes his head. “Never mind. It’s nothing important.” His hand continues the path up and down the back of Haru’s shirt. _Makoto’s_ shirt to be more specific because Haru insisted on wearing the same one to bed as last time. He never thought that Haru would be here with him again and his heart does a little flip. “I just wished we could have been in Iwatobi at the same time. Wish we could have gotten to meet sooner.”

Haru’s gives him a tender look as he leans forward, giving what is now becoming a customary nose nuzzle. “I wish we met earlier, too.”

Makoto laughs softly. “If only birthday wishes could grant time travelling powers. I could’ve protected you when that motherfudger was being horrible to you.”

”Such language, angel. Did Rin teach you that?” Haru’s tone is something on the edge of teasing. “Anyways, I used my birthday wish on something _way_ better.”

Makoto rolls his eyes, feigning annoyance. “Don’t talk about the wish if you’re not even gonna tell me.”

“Well,” Haru hums. “Maybe this time around I will. If you ask nicely.”

“And I didn’t ask nicely enough last time?”

“I don’t remembering you saying ‘please’ last time.”

“You’re such a funny guy, Haru-chan.” Makoto gives Haru’s side a gentle, but punishing tickle before he pretends to shift, wanting to make it look like he wants to roll over and face away.

Haru’s quick to tug on his arm. “Hey! Stay here!” He pleads, laughing all the while. Makoto rolls back, throwing his arm over Haru’s waist again, cuddling him impossibly closer, their laughter dancing in the air. “Alright, I’ll tell you.”

“I’ve been plenty nice, see?” Makoto leans forward to place a scattering of kisses all over Haru’s face, making sure that he doesn’t miss one single spot. When he finally places one on Haru’s lips, he practically melts, forgetting he was supposedly annoyed. They both forget.

When Haru pulls back, Makoto can still feel the warmth that his lips left upon his. The whisper is so quiet, so intimate with their foreheads resting together. “I wished I could be yours.”

The quiet confession makes Makoto’s heart want to beat right out of his chest. His hand slides from Haru’s back, over his shoulder to hold the side of his face. He wants to see his eyes in this moment. Haru slowly opens them until they are looking at each other, the shyness lingering there. “As long as I get to be yours, too.” Makoto laughs, embarrassed. “That’s probably been my lifetime wish. One that I never thought could come true.”

Haru reaches out to place his hand on Makoto’s cheek, mirroring him. “I guess we both got pretty lucky for once.”

It’s getting late now, but Makoto’s still doesn’t want to close his eyes. He’s still afraid, not knowing what tomorrow might bring. This could all be a dream and Makoto doesn’t want to let it out of his sight. Haru leans forward to peck his nose. “Sleep. You must be tired.”

"Alright, goodnight, love." The term of endearment slips out naturally, but Makoto doesn't care. He just holds Haru close, still scared. He lets himself be pulled into Haru’s chest, his face resting in the column of Haru’s neck. But all he can do is trust. All he can do is believe in his wishes. “You still gonna be here tomorrow?”

Before Makoto lets his eyes close and lets himself fall under, he feels the familiar press of Haru’s lips against his temple. He feels like he’s been in this position before, but he wants to be conscious to hear the rest of what Haru has to say this time around. His comforting voice goes straight to Makoto’s heart. “I’ll be here forever if you want me to.” 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... So about Haru's contacts, my knowledge about prescription colored contacts is that you usually get them as monthly's and then they just have to be cleaned with solution everyday. Also, contacts plus pool is a no no, so that's why I thought Haru having contacts and wanting to swim would be a little bit of a complication ha ha. Because you know how Haru can't stay away from the water! 
> 
> But okay, I think I gotta stop making update promises ha ha. Seems like this is gonna be a monthly thing, I guess. But yeah, it's been a rough few weeks. Even a rough couple days, actually. But I really wanted to get this next part out, so here it is!
> 
> Until next time!
> 
> Song Inspo:
> 
> [ BTS - "The Truth Untold"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JVytJm8X2g) \- This song is a beautiful masterpiece. From what I remember reading in a top comment on this video, this song is based on La Citta Di Smeraldo. It's the story of a man who lived in a castle and kept to himself because he thought he was ugly. One day, he noticed that a woman started picking flowers from his garden. 
> 
> He fell in love with her when he found out that she was selling the flowers for a living. But he would never approach her because he thought he was “too ugly”. When she eventually stopped coming to his garden, he found out that she had passed away. So the “I still want you” line is about him regretting not telling the woman how he felt because he didn’t love himself first. 
> 
> This is a perfect theme for Haru throughout the fic because he wanted to hide his Partial side away and kept to himself until he fell in love with Makoto. But I wanted to make sure that Haru’s fate was different and that he confessed his feelings in the end <3 
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading and I hope you have a lovely day <3


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